Mate. Come on. That's just not on.
On the whole, Russia doesn't have the greatest relationship when it comes to those tasked with policing the use (or misuse) of drugs in sport.
In the past year alone, we've seen Russian athletes barred from participating under their own flag at the Winter Olympics in South Korea, as well as numerous reports suggesting the depth of doping within the country's sporting scene.
Thanks to Russian international footballer Igor Denisov, however, we have a Russian doping story which trumps all others in almost every way, especially if stories about urine, drugs and insults are what you're into.
According to report by Russian newspaper TASS, the Lokomotiv Moscow captain was taking part in an out-of-competition drugs test on April 16. To the uninitiated among us, this usually involves urinating into a container or something similar.
It's a serious issue, and as such involves the filling out of forms - the hallmark of a serious act - with a player's name and personal details jotted down on a piece of paper to dot the Is and cross the Ts.
Rather than do this, Denisov - who was presumably unhappy at the mere thought that a Russian athlete would dope - opted to insult the doping control inspector using a series of profanities written on the form.
Exactly what he said is as yet unknown, but we can safely assume it wasn't a recipe for soup, and Denisov's club were understandably displeased with his behaviour.
He has been fined one million rubles (roughly £11,000) and banned for his side's next game.
