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28th October 2023
08:21am BST
We all know the reputation of vegans is to be a little over-zealous in their policing of what people eat.
That may not always be fair, there are plenty of vegans who don't really care what other people put in their mouths.
But this vegan daughter has certainly caused a stir online after her dad was left exasperated at her rather restrictive dietary requirements for the family home.
Speaking on the Am I The Asshole subreddit, the father (who goes by u/frustratingbaconeate) was looking for reassurance that he is not the asshole for wanting to eat bacon in his own home.
The post says: "Dad here, old fart, loves his daughter to pieces but I’m struggling to see eye to eye with my teenager and wife on this one.
"We’ve always been a meat eating family, we live in the rural Midwest and bacon for breakfast is pretty much a given. This year my 14 y/o daughter decided to go vegan, and I jumped onto her support team with enthusiasm. We learned how to substitute ingredients, cook new things, try new things, I adjusted our budget to include more expensive vegan substitutes for her, etc.
"None of this has been a problem for me until recently. She saw me cook bacon in a pan, and then I rinsed it out to load in the dishwasher. She exploded in anger (teen years, I’m not too fussed about the anger explosion, I know she doesn’t mean it) and said that that was HER pan for vegan food. I was completely floored and said, kiddo this here is a family pan, older than you, it’s not YOUR pan..."
But here's where it gets a step too far for the father: "She asked me to purchase her a pan that she can solely use for vegan food. I didn’t want her to feel weird about food, so I said sure, and ordered her a few colored ones that are only for her. The reason they’re colored is so it helps me remember that I’m not to touch them unless I’m cooking vegan.
"That wasn’t good enough. Now apparently the dishwasher is ‘contaminated’ with animal product, and the fridge has ‘bacon grease fingers’ on it (because I eat bacon and then touch the fridge) and she’s asked me and her mom to completely stop eating meat at home. I don’t mean I literally touch the fridge with greasy bacon hands, because I wash my hands, but it’s clearly enough that it upsets my daughter.
frankly I’m on team hell no, her mom is much more amenable and strongly wants me to consider taking our daughter up on the request. My wife’s reasoning is that both our parents live close so we can eat meat products there, and that she doesn’t want our daughter to feel uncomfortable in the kitchen. My daughter says she is fine with cheese and butter in the fridge, but it’s specifically meat products that make her feel sick. Now I’m sorry for her, but I feel like she just needs to adapt and live side by side, because I’m not going to stop eating bacon in my own house."
Quite understandably, this picked up quite a bit of traction in the subreddit. And the general consensus? NTA (not the asshole). Many have said the daughter is taking things a step too far, and that includes those who don't eat meat.
One user wrote: "As a teen who’s trying to go vegetarian, your daughter is acting ridiculous. “The dish washing machine’s tainted”? What kind of bull is that? And she shouldn’t be forcing you guys to go vegan in your own house if you don’t want to. You’ve been very supportive as it is, buying separate pans."
Another said: "NTA, and I say that as a vegan. "cross contamination" is BS that militant vegans make up to make themselves feel superior to other vegans. And she has to understand that there's going to be meat around. I get that it upsets her, really, but unless she only lives with vegans for the rest of her life this is something she is going to have to get used to."
One user thought there was a bit more nuance to the situation, saying: "NTA, but this actually sounds really complicated. Teenage girls can have very contentious relationships with food, and that can express themselves in a lot of ways. I think you need to get more information going forward. She might just be a teen pushing limits and seeing what she can control. She might also genuinely be struggling with ideas about, “cleanliness” as it related to food."
What's clear is that despite the initial concern over whether the father is in the wrong, it seems the internet is very much on his side on this one.
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