Snow joke out there today guys lol lol lol!!
Yeah, we get it, there’s snow on the way.
As with any major weather event in Britain, social media is going to be awash with piping hot takes on the developing situation.
Your Mum’s going to be worried sick, your weird uncle will have a go at every company’s head of social media and your idiot friends from school will fail to understand that you shouldn’t post a Facebook status unless it’s going to make people think that you aren’t a moron.
Here’s 12 insufferable Facebook posts you’re going to see this week. Stay strong!
1. Woke Wendy
This chestnut is always first out the gate to point out the obvious. Cheers Wendy, hadn’t seen the 5,000 news reports, push notifications or literal snow outside the window. I owe you one!
2. Political Polly
She’s here to relate everything back to politics, no matter how trivial the subject matter. Polly, please just let people enjoy things. It’s okay. Brexit will still be there tomorrow.
3. Doomsday Dan
He’s been secretly hoping for the end of the world his whole life just he can smugly say ‘Told ya so’ as he spontaneously combusts. He also will try any means possible to get a girlfriend.
4. Nerdy Nathan
He always makes deeply obvious TV and movie references, but then tries really hard to make them funny / pertain to a current event. Every single time it’s a miss for poor Nathan.
5. Banter Bryony
As you can tell, this girl is a hoot. She’s always tempted to have a cheeky glass of vino, but not before telling Facebook about how wild she is.
6. Obvious Oliver
Cheers Oliver, hadn’t noticed the cold myself. This information will prove vital in the coming days. Thanks, pal. Any chance you could let us know what Pi is to three decimal points as well?
7. Basic Bethany
Bless her, she’s a simple soul with very simple interests. Her life’s mundanity is an acquired taste, but look, at least she’s happy in her own little world.
8. Defiant Dave
Right on cue, Dave will always chime in with the exact opposite of a commonly held opinion. Brexit is bad? Dave thinks it’s good. Cold out? Dave thinks it’s tropical. You’re just soft.
9. Dramatic Debbie
Don’t dare try to have a laugh in Debbie’s presence. Something bad could happen, then you’re going to look like a prick. People are dying all the time and you’re out here having a laugh? Grow up.
10. Angry Andrew
Yer Da’s been mildly inconvenienced again, best keep an eye on Facebook for a detailed account of his latest human rights violation.
11. Tragic Tracy
She always pulls the positive out of a negative, but in a very strategic way so that you can see how wealthy and supposedly content with life she is.
12. Comedian Colin
There’s always one absolute banter merchant that’s Googled ‘Snow pun’ and then rehashed it out as his own for a staggering 2 likes. This is a busy time for Colin, so keep him in your thoughts.
