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Entertainment

03rd Dec 2016

They’re making a Britney Spears movie and it looks shockingly abysmal

Burn it with fire

Nooruddean Choudry

What did she do to deserve this?

Cards on the table – Britney Spears is a bit of a guilty pleasure at JOE Towers. Or not very guilty at all to be honest. Between 1998 and 2002, Ms Spears dominated the popular music landscape with a string of bona fide bangers.

Back then it definitely wasn’t cool to like a bit of Britney, but sod that – cool or not, the likes of Baby One More Time, Oops! I Did It Again, I’m A Slave 4 U, Overprotected, Toxic and Womanizer are absolute classics of the genre.

Say anything against Britney and we’ll fight you IRL.

With all that in mind, you’d think that if anyone was to commit Spears’ life to celluloid, they’d pull out all the stops and hire the best in the business to portray her fascinating story, right? It would be wall-to-wall A-listers, surely.

Wrong. Because Lifetime, in their infinite wisdom, are making an unauthorised movie about Britney’s life and it looks shockingly bad. Natasha Bassett, an Australian actress who starred in Hail, Caesar! will play the pop princess, and judging from the atrocious promo pics, it is to be avoided at all costs.

Please bleach your eyes after viewing the following images, and swear on your cracked CD cover of In The Zone that you won’t help desecrate Britney’s immense canon by watching this turd-mountain.

‘Britney Spears’

britney spears, lifetime, biopic, britney, movie

‘Britney and Justin’

britney spears, lifetime, biopic, britney, movie

‘*NSync’

britney spears, lifetime, biopic, britney, movie

And again, the state of ‘Justin Timberlake’…

britney spears, lifetime, biopic, britney, movie

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