John Cena has a beard now, and he looks weird 4 years ago

John Cena has a beard now, and he looks weird

This is wrong

Wrestling superstar John Cena has a grown a beard, and it looks really wrong and weird.


It’s not a massive beard, he doesn’t look like Brian Blessed or Santa Claus or anything. It’s more just travelling businessman beard. The beard of a dad who has gone to Glasgow for work and the battery has died in his electric razor and he didn’t have the right adaptor for the plug socket of the Premier Inn he’s staying at.


He's gone out the boys from the Glasgow branch, and they've gone to Byron Burger, and then they've had a few jars in an All Bar One, and he hasn't been out this late since the kids were born. He's stumbled back to his hotel room at half twelve, and slept through his alarm, and he's had to rush for his train, and now he's sat on Virgin Pendolino, bleary eyed, with a latte and an Upper Crust, unshaven, and shirt untucked.

Wrestlemania seems a lifetime away.


It might be for a movie, or something, there’s been no word from Cena himself. Don’t like it. Can’t handle it. We are living in the worst timeline. Up is down, black is white, cats chase dogs now. Sort it out, John.