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22nd Feb 2018

If Donald Trump can be President, why can’t Stormzy be Prime Minister?

Time for a Grime Minister

Will Lavin

Time for a Grime Minister

I think it’s fair to say after last night’s BRIT Awards performance that Stormzy is more than just socially aware, he’s a socially conscious superhero who isn’t afraid of being blunt and speaking up for the disenfranchised and voiceless.

And it’s not the first time he’s done it…

Who could forget him calling Theresa May a ‘paigon’ for her alleged part in the Grenfell Tower tragedy as he was handed a GQ award for Solo Artist of the Year last year? Or what about the time he voiced his opinion on the unlawful killings of unarmed black men in America by the police? Then of course there’s his track “First Things First” where he calls out DSTRKT and other London nightclubs for discriminating against people of colour as part of their entry policy.

And those were just a few times he’s spoken up, the list goes on and on.

While many musicians, entertainers, and other notable figures choose to keep their political views close to their chest, there are those like Stormzy who are for the people and aren’t afraid to let the powers that be know that they’ll use their platform to fight for those that can’t fight for themselves.

Surely these are the qualities one looks for when electing a Prime Minister?

If both Donald Trump, a businessman and occasional reality TV star, and actor-turned-politician Ronald Reagan can be President of the United States, and Arnold Schwarzenegger can be the Governator, then surely Stormzy could become the next Prime Minister?

This isn’t the first time the subject has been broached either. A Twitter campaign was started back in 2016 in the hopes that Stormzy would replace David Cameron after he announced he would be leaving Downing Street.

Is it actually possible? Could Stormzy be elected as Prime Minister? Yes, yes it is.

All Big Mike (real name Michael Ebenazer Kwadjo Omari Owuo, Jr.) would need to do is stand as an MP in a local constituency (Croydon Central). And that, in essence is it. You don’t even need to be a UK citizen, just of the commonwealth. So feasibly a Canadian could become Prime Minister, but we’d rather have Stormzy than Bieber at this point.

So all we need to do is convince Stormzy to start moving forward with a plan to become an MP and then all we need to do is motivate the people of Croydon to vote for him.

But what about the real questions: Who would he stand for? Who would be his celebrity running mate? His slogan? And the big one, what would his manifesto say?

Party: Labour

Celebrity running mate: Bradley Walsh

His party’s anthem: Sporty Thievz – “No Paigons”

Location for hosting foreign dignitaries: Morley’s

Slogan: Make UK Merky

And as for a manifesto…