Proton packs at the ready

12 years ago

That’s right, you read that headline correctly. JOE. Meets. Arnold. Schwarzenegger. We know, we couldn’t believe our glowing, red eyes either. Hollywood stars really don’t get much bigger than this, both physically and fame-wise. The Austrian Oak is one of the most recognisable people on the planet, making his awkwardly-spelled-name as an action GOD in […]

12 years ago

Daniel Levy has worked his magic again, with Tottenham inexplicably making most of their money back on Brazilian misfit Paulinho. The midfielder, who played just 15 league games last season, has been snapped up by Chinese giants Guangzhou Evergrande for an eye-watering eight-figure fee. https://twitter.com/TransferRelated/status/615511625412550656 Paulinho joined Spurs after an impressive showing at the 2013 […]

12 years ago

Liverpool misfit Mario Balotelli will not be moving to Sampdoria, with the manager of the Serie A club ruling out a move for the Italy international. Walter Zenga told Italian radio station RAI that neither Balotelli nor former Samp striker Antonio Cassano will be moving to the Stadio Luigi Ferraris this summer. Balotelli has been heavily linked with a […]

12 years ago

Wood you believe it…

12 years ago

Nice and cool, you know what I mean…

12 years ago

It seems LA Galaxy had a different English midfielder in mind for their high-profile signing. Steven Gerrard revealed in January that he was set to leave Liverpool to finish his career at the MLS franchise, but it sounds like the club had a different English legend in their sights. Galaxy manager Bruce Arena revealed his original plans […]

12 years ago

Phil Neville is the new assistant coach at Valencia. He will work under manager Nuno Espirito Santo. Valencia are owned by Singaporean businessman and investor Peter Lim. In other news, Phil Neville owns a stake in Salford City FC. So does Singaporean businessman and investor Peter Lim.

12 years ago

There are more traditional ways to give players a water break… Last night’s Major League Soccer game between Sporting Kansas City and the Colorado Rapids was subject to an unusual interruption. With the visitors preparing to take a free-kick at the start of the second half, the entire stadium sprinkler system was activated, giving the players, […]

12 years ago

It’s only 11 seconds long. That’s the only positive we’ve found in Alexis Sanchez belting out One Direction’s More Than This. What better way to celebrate Chile’s safe progress through to the Copa America semi-finals than indulging in some boyband karaoke? The rendition ends with Sanchez flashing a cheesy smile and blowing a kiss. Now please excuse us whilst we […]

12 years ago

Vlad the uploader…

12 years ago

Bovine comedy…

12 years ago

Cech that out…

12 years ago

Simple stuff that helps. We have a useful tip: how to take pictures on your iPhone using your headphones. Using the volume up button on official Apple headphones you can take a photo on the iPhone camera which can be really handy if you want to take a clear steady shot. Perfect for non-blurry selfies. […]

12 years ago

The good folk over at Epic TV recently recorded 43-year-old Arnaud Longobardi flying through the open doors into a moving cable car high above the Alps. Now you may ask ‘why’? Our answer is simply, why the f**k not? For this stunt to work, Longobardi had to perfectly time his takeoff after the cable car […]

12 years ago

Borussia Dortmund are set to be raided by Bayern Munich yet again as the Bundesliga champions plot another audacious double swoop on their rivals. It was confirmed on Thursday that club doctor Andreas Schlumberger has taken the well-trodden path from Dortmund to Bayern, replacing Hans-Wilhelm Muller-Wohlfahrt who left in acrimonious circumstances after being publicly mocked […]

12 years ago

Trash talking…

12 years ago

He’s got fans going bananas…

12 years ago

Snoop Snoop Dogg is indecisive when it comes to his football club allegiances Rat Margot Robbie bore the brunt of Jared Leto’s method acting with an unwelcome gift Parking A man in Brazil got a shock after parking in a disabled space Kray Tom Hardy looks in fine form in the extended trailer for Kray […]

12 years ago

He’s taking the role seriously anyway. Jared Leto will play the Joker in the upcoming Suicide Squad movie and his behaviour on the set has been making headlines He hasn’t been seen out of character since filming started and other members of the cast have been afraid to approach him incase they mess up Leto’s mindset. […]

12 years ago

Rapper Snoop Dogg is well known for his love of European football shirts, and he has added another to his collection after posting a photo of himself in the colours of Turkish champions Galatasaray. Perhaps the Istanbul club are keen to replace Didier Drogba with their own Snoop Drogg, after missing their former striker’s goals last […]

12 years ago

On your bike…

12 years ago

If you’re desperate to pre-order a new video game but you’ve spent all your money on beer and soft drinks, there could be a solution. The post-apocalyptic Fallout series, for those who are unaware, uses bottle caps as currency. So when a fan of the franchise wanted to pre-order its fourth installment, he sent more […]

12 years ago

By now you probably know that Tom Hardy is preparing to get Kray-Kray as both halves of the infamous crime duo. New film Legend, in which Hardy plays brothers Ronnie and Reggie Kray, looks like being one of the most stylish releases of 2015. The initial teaser trailer was impressive enough, but now you can […]

12 years ago

A man in Brazil got his comeuppance after parking in a disabled spot, with passers-by going to great lengths to remind him of his actions. When the offender returned to his vehicle, it was enveloped in post-it notes, arranged so as to turn the car into a giant blue-and-white disabled sign. We imagine he’ll think […]

12 years ago

Eat my goal

12 years ago

Harder, better, faster, furiouser…

12 years ago

This week, our Agony Uncle Matt Berry offers sound advice on Glastonbury, dating and what to do if you’re an insomniac… If you have a problem for Matt, you know what to do – email hello@JOE.co.uk. Dear Uncle Matt, Last night I was playing guitar and singing in a pub, and a man had a […]

12 years ago

Take yer pic…

12 years ago

Opinions are like *rseholes – you don’t mind your own but everyone else’s stink. Here we’ve collated the best truthbombs of the last seven days… “I think the clubs need to reduce ticket prices and find different ways of encouraging people to come to games.” – Gary Lineker, speaking exclusively to JOE.co.uk on fair pricing for supporters. “I think […]

12 years ago

Uruguay were knocked out of the Copa America by Chile in a fiercely contested match in Santiago. It finished 1-0 to the hosts in a game that saw two red cards for Uruguay with Paris Saint-Germain striker Edinson Cavani one of the men to get his marching orders. Cavani picked up two yellow cards – […]

12 years ago

Jose is fit to fight

12 years ago

The grey-ly show…

12 years ago

Lionel Messi turns 28 today, and Barcelona have just released this previously unseen footage of him playing for their junior side. As you can probably imagine, the Argentina star, currently representing his country at the Copa America, was better back then than any of us are now. The defence-splitting throughballs are there, of course, as […]

12 years ago

Firmino Liverpool have announced the signing of 23-year-old Brazilian Roberto Firmino… Gmail Gmail are set to introduce an option for all users to undo an email within 30 seconds of it being sent… UFC Dana White has moved to calm UFC fans after reports that Jose Aldo’s fight with Conor McGregor at UFC 189 was in […]

12 years ago

Stan Lee thinks the world “has a place for gay superheroes”. The Marvel Comics mastermind has revealed he isn’t bothered by the sexuality or race of a superhero, but doesn’t think it should be changed once the character has been established. Speaking specifically about Spider-Man, the 92-year-old said: “I wouldn’t mind, if Peter Parker had […]

12 years ago

Here’s part two of our list of the most tantalising pilots and new shows to be aired in the US this year – with any luck we’ll be seeing a few of them on UK telly some time soon. The Catch Shonda Rhimes is one of the most successful television creators in recent years; the […]

12 years ago

Goodbye Andrew Garfield… It’s official, the next Spiderman has been revealed and it is to be Tom Holland, a youthful 19-year old, known for starring in The Impossible. Holland is the third person to don the spandex suit for the mammoth role in the past nine years with the film set to be released in […]

12 years ago

This could save an awful lot of drama

12 years ago

Every year at the end of May, UK TV channels head to Los Angeles to check out all the forthcoming US series as they hope to snap up the next Lost or Game of Thrones. The Hollywood studios roll out the red carpet for this beauty parade process, which includes more than 50 big-budget drama and shiny sitcom pilots […]

12 years ago

Rudimental have unveiled a new song Rumour Mill from their latest album We The Generation, and they’re on fine form with this new house-influenced track. The four-piece – who headline the Other Stage at Glastonbury – have chosen to stay out of the video, giving their two new vocalists Anne-Marie and Will Heard the limelight instead. Anne-Marie […]

12 years ago

Thank f*ck it’s back… TFI Friday’s one-off special earned rave reviews (barring a overly long Lewis Hamilton segment) and Chris Evans recently suggested that the future of the show was in Channel 4’s hands. Well, they’ve obliged him with a new run. Evans has announced that an eight-episode series has been commissioned to go out before Christmas. TFi […]

12 years ago

For years we’ve worried about artificial intelligence rising up and taking over the world, but what if it just wants to play Mario Kart for hours on end? YouTube user SethBling has created a programme known as MarI/O, which teaches itself to play video games from a position of complete lack of knowledge. It has […]

12 years ago

Mystic Mac…

12 years ago

Diddy P Diddy was arrested after a fight with his son’s American football coach at UCLA. Post Real Salt Lake midfielder Lake Mulholland came off second best in a collision with a goalpost. Glastonbury Check out JOE’s list of who to see at Glastonbury Cat A cat surprised its owners by stowing away on the […]

12 years ago

P Diddy has been arrested for allegedly threatening an American football coach with a kettlebell. The 45-year-old music mogul, who is now on bail, is said to have become embroiled in an altercation with strength and conditioning coach Sal Alosi at UCLA’s training complex, allegedly swinging at him with a weight after criticising his 21-year-old […]

12 years ago

He is best known for his part in Breaking Bad, but RJ Mitte has gone from model son to plain old model. Mitte, who played breakfast-loving Walt Jr in the hit television show, took part in Vivienne Westwood’s show during Milan fashion week. .@followVivienne #VivienneWestwood #milanfashionweek #mfw #shows #menswear thank u 4 having me! pic.twitter.com/r1OTnXW4Ir — RJ Mitte (@RjMitte) June […]

12 years ago

Round of applause for Luke Mulholland. The Real Salt Lake midfielder fell victim to a heinous attack by the goalpost when attempting to head the ball off the goalline during his team’s MLS game against Sporting Kansas City. At least the woodwork also kept the ball out as the Englishman was sprawled on the turf, and Real went […]

12 years ago

Stonehenge is a popular destination for the Summer Solstice, but a pair of pranksters in Kent decided to create their own version closer to home. An uncanny (if much brighter) replica emerged in a car park in Maidstone, made up of about 30 fridge, with many residents having no idea where it came from. Often in […]

12 years ago

They mascot one hell of a good reason for this…

12 years ago