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25th Jun 2015

JOE’s Quotes of the Week – June 25, 2015


Opinions are like *rseholes – you don’t mind your own but everyone else’s stink. Here we’ve collated the best truthbombs of the last seven days…

“I think the clubs need to reduce ticket prices and find different ways of encouraging people to come to games.” – Gary Lineker, speaking exclusively to on fair pricing for supporters.

“I think the world has a place for gay superheroes, certainly” – Stan Lee, who believes the solution to greater equality is to create new characters, rather than changing old ones.

“Training legs helps grow other areas of your body because you feel the extra power from having that solid base in your legs.” – Geordie Shore’s Joel Corry in his new JOE column.

“I’ve heard [prison] can be a good place to concentrate. You might surface on the other side having learnt a language or be able to play the ukulele?” – JOE’s agony uncle Matt Berry offers a piece of advice to one unfortunate soul.

“Without a doubt you will see me in the UFC in the near future.” – A youthful Conor McGregor predicting his success back in 2008.

“Any actions taken by Mr. Combs were solely defensive in nature to protect himself and his son.” – A statement on behalf of P Diddy, after allegations that he threatened his son’s American football coach with a kettlebell

“I don’t know what happened, I had wheelspin and then I was out” – Kimi Raikkonen on his horror crash with Fernando Alonso

“There is no bathroom…” – Jake Gyllenhaal giving a top-notch Arnold Schwarzenegger impression.

“It would make sense for the sequel to be made in 2016, the 20th anniversary of the original.” – Ewan McGregor seemingly opening the door for a sequel to Trainspotting.

“If that’s edgy, you’re f**ked for the rest of this…” – Jimmy Carr launching into a colourful routine at Jonjo Shelvey’s wedding.

“Ironically, in terms of the style of football, tonight is probably the best we’ve played but games are won and lost in both penalty boxes, simple.” – England U21 manager Gareth Southgate channels in his inner meerkat as his side crash out of the Euros.