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22nd Aug 2016

Wilfried Zaha’s penis pants are the worst marketing idea ever

Do they come in a small?

Nooruddean Choudry

This would certainly have made MOTD very NSFW indeed.

Footballers have been known to flog some unusual items over the years – who can forget Dion Dublin’s ‘Dube’ musical instrument, or this whatever-the-fuck-it-is by Cristiano Ronaldo…

However, surely even Ronnie’s weird Japanese face work-out thing – or anything else in the world ever – couldn’t compete with Wilfried Zaha’s ill-judged commercial venture just a few years ago.

That’s because, for reasons known only to the player and his representation, the Crystal Palace winger agreed to promote ‘Gilmore Support Shorts’, which are/were basically cycling shorts with a cock pocket.

That’s right – London surgeon Jerry Gilmore helped invent a pair of shorts specifically designed to reduce injuries to athletes’ groins, adductors, hamstrings and lower backs – with a trunk compartment.

Not only did Zaha agree to be the face of the protruding pants, but he even posed in them, meaning poor old Wilfried’s wilfred was on show on the company’s website – gloved in the ‘pubic symphysis support’.

Following a reminder of the garment – sadly discontinued but available on eBay – on Twitter over the weekend, Gary Lineker spotted the item and made reference to his own underwear appearance on Match Of The Day.

The popular football anchor joked that he wished he knew about the cock-compliant duds earlier, presumably so he could have donned a pair instead of his Leicester City branded boxers…

As much as we love the fact that Gary is a man of his word and had the good grace and humour to stick to his word and appear in his pants last week, it’s probably for the best he didn’t wear a pair of Gilmores.

It’s important to remember that some people out there have 3D televisions. He could’ve had someone’s eye out…

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