‘I was numb’
Jesse Lingard has opened up on the struggles he faced in his last season at Manchester United, which led to him suffering from depression.
The midfielder explained how he has been battling his emotions ever since the start of lockdown – as a result of the coronavirus pandemic – back in March 2020.
During that time, Lingard was looking after his younger siblings as their mum received treatment in London and the England international said that his struggles led to him not wanting to leave the house.
Speaking on Untold: The Jesse Lingard Story, a documentary which will air on Channel 4 on Tuesday, he said: “I was on autopilot.
“I was having conversations with people and I was just like: ‘Yeah. OK. Yeah.’ Nothing would register. It would go in one ear and out the other. I was numb and I wanted to be in that numb state where I didn’t have to feel anything.”
Lingard added that while footballers are perceived to be living the high life all the time, they are only human like everyone else.
“Nobody really knew about my struggles off the pitch so they think: ‘You’re a footballer, you live in a nice house, you’ve got money, you can deal with anything.’ But when it’s someone’s health and well being – it’s a different situation. We’re all human.
“It was difficult around that moment in time. It was probably [for] months. I didn’t want to play in case I did badly and there was more scrutiny.
“I was playing and I felt like I was nonexistent. I wanted to stop completely and have a break and just be at home. I didn’t want to be on the pitch and have all that scrutiny. You lose a ball and it’s more pressure.”
The 29-year-old is now back and enjoying his football again at Nottingham Forest and recently scored his first goal for the club in a Carabao Cup win against Tottenham last week.
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