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28th May 2018

Romanian goalkeeper takes time wasting to a whole new level

Genius comes in many forms

Kyle Picknell

This is how you do it. If you’re going to time waste, take the absolute piss.

Goalkeepers, goalkeepers are a funny breed. It is often said you have to be a bit ‘mad’ to be a goalkeeper, to stand in the wind and the rain and get balls pelted at you from all angles. But actually, actually it seems like it can be a lot of fun.

It what other job, in what other profession would you get the opportunity to do this? To completely and utterly take the piss in this manner?

To this Romanian goalkeeper, all I say is I don’t know you, I have no idea what team you play for, but I will find you, and I will sign you on Football Manager. You are incredible. Please never, ever change.

Have you ever such composure? Such nonchalance? A certain je ne sais quoi? You think he is going to stop, you are certain he is going to stop, but he doesn’t. He just keeps walking.

And that added half a step through the door. It is sublime. It is poetry. The most unncessary step taken in human history.

He actually looks like he is playing hide and seek. Have you ever seen such fuckaboutery? Have you ever seen such a glorious disregard for the rules and the principles of the game? For sportsmanship? You haven’t. I know you haven’t. You can’t have.

Reportedly, after the game, the goalkeeper explained that the pitch was too small and he needed more room for his run up, which, after watching the video, you can quite clearly see him perform at half pace anyway.

Goalkeepers, goalkeepers can be very bad. But goalkeepers can also be very good. Don’t forget that. I’d rather have this man in net than David De Gea on Jan Oblak’s shoulders.

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