The glorious Gareth Southgate era is off to a glorious start with a glorious goal from Daniel Glorious Sturridge, and all of our problems are gone.
England have all but guaranteed World Cup success after opening the scoring against Malta, the 176th best team in the world, with a goal straight out of the middle drawer.
It was a goal made in Liverpool, with Sturridge heading home a Jordan Henderson cross from around the penalty spot. Should goalkeeper Andrew Hogg have been better placed to save it? Perhaps, but we don’t like dwelling on goalkeepers’ performances when it’s not one of our own so let’s just move on.
Sturridge gives England the lead against Malta with a fine header https://t.co/cQpBfIQ0tz
— ITV Football (@itvfootball) October 8, 2016
Fans responded in balanced fashion, asking all the most important questions.
Have #England won the World Cup then because they're beating Malta?! 😉
— HA! (@hide2k10) October 8, 2016
Luckily, the answers were instantly forthcoming.
https://twitter.com/iainmoo/status/784794636191760384
#ENGMAL We're gonna win the world cup!
— Martin Reed (@MartinReed28) October 8, 2016
We're gonna win the World Cup, 110%
— kieran (@kieranmarsden1) October 8, 2016
A fantastic first half from England that confirms, in case you weren't yet certain, that we're going to win the World Cup with our eyes shut
— The 12,000/1 Tipster (@TheSetOdds) October 8, 2016
We think.
https://twitter.com/clonmacart/status/784795774660083714
Anyway, there are far more important things to be worried about, as people soon noted.
England playing relaxed, positive football, a likeable manager in the dugout, they're winning… but that band are still allowed in. So…
— MUNDIAL (@MundialMag) October 8, 2016
Any chance the Telegraph can do a sting on the England Band?
— Jonny Sharples (@JonnyGabriel) October 8, 2016
Dele Alli added a second for England soon after, poking home at the second attempt after Malta decided defending was a bit overrated.
Watch: @Dele_Alli scores England's second goal against Malta https://t.co/ElCnRUai3q
— ITV Football (@itvfootball) October 8, 2016
And that really emphasised England’s quality and dominance over a footballing heavyweight team whose record scorer almost managed one goal every five games for Coventry City.
Malta appear on the brink of crumbling like the delicious chocolate snack they inspired.
— John Brewin (@JohnBrewin_) October 8, 2016
Honestly, how can we *not* win the World Cup after this?
Well done Theo, showing the Bulldog spirit there, not allowing the goal kick and putting it out for a throw whilst 2-0 up. At home. V Malta.
— David Preece (@davidpreece12) October 8, 2016
Especially with captain fantastic Wayne Rooney spreading passes right and left.
#RooneyWatch All England players fail to latch on to Rooney's assist and the ball goes harmlessly out of play.
— Out of Context Bandwagons (@bifurcated_MBM) October 8, 2016
