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Published 08:47 18 Dec 2018 GMT
Updated 08:58 18 Dec 2018 GMT

"Dear Jonas,
It is with great pride and joy I am writing you this letter today. I have been informed by reliable sources that I am the captain, and first choice striker on your fantasy-team.
I know I don't score goals, or produce many assists or get to come on much at all. Therefore it is with great pleasure I register that people still believe in me those 15 times I have been on the pitch this year.
You and all my biggest fans, mom and dad, are my inspiration in continuing my performances for Crystal Palace and the Norwegian national team. You are the ones I think of when I’m on the pitch for five minutes in every other match. I don’t think too much about my playing time. And since I don’t get too much time on the ball I don’t need to think about it either. Therefore I can just wander around on the pitch, look up to the stands, and wonder if you’re in the stands cheering me on.
Jonas. I hope you will come and see me warm up sometime during the season. I’ll talk to Hodgson and see to that I’ll be running up and down the sideline for a long time so that you can see me in action when you come to London.
I can’t get you free tickets. Only the best lads get. But I’ve talked to Edna at the Popcorn-corner, and she’ll give you a 15 % discount on a bucket of popcorn.
Send me a message on Facebook if you’re travelling to England.
Your friend, captain, and striker.
Alexander Sørloth"
No, I'm not crying, I just have a small splinter of Norwegian pinewood lodged in my eye. Oh, and if anyone is wondering, Sørloth is on a grand total of 12 points so far for the season. But hey, that popcorn discount isn't bad.Explore more on these topics: