Search icon


14th Oct 2015

Crook on the scoresheet in police football match

Cops and rabonas...

Tom Victor

You’ve probably heard of the concept of nominative determinism.

It’s the idea that someone’s name makes a certain job inevitable for them, like the Lord Chief Justice being called Lord Judge or the Arsenal manager being called Arsene Wenger.

This sort of thing reared its head again during a football match involving non-league side Metropolitan Police FC.

It’s not to do with their team being filled with cops – that bit’s deliberate – but rather the identity of the first two goalscorers in their 2-1 Ryman League win at Dulwich Hamlet.

You have to question the police’s recruitment policy when they let a Crook infiltrate their side, having let the Sweeney out of their sights for the opener.

After Joe Turner put the visitors ahead, the only remaining question was whether an equaliser for Hamlet was to be or not to be.

Unfortunately their main plan of attack was thwarted as, when their wingers reached the police line, they were ordered not to cross.