Search icon


13th Nov 2018

Cristiano Ronaldo picture accidentally shows Chiellini’s dick

Kyle Picknell

You clicked on this to see a dick, didn’t you? Specifically Giorgio Chiellini’s dick

That’s fine. Don’t worry. That’s why we’re all here. To catch a brief glimpse of Giorgio Chiellini’s little Giorgio. By way of a haphazard Cristiano Ronaldo snap in the changing room.

What an odd, perfect world this is that we live in.

After Juve’s 2-0 win against AC Milan on Sunday, in which Ronaldo scored the second goal, the Portuguese happily obliged a young Milan player named Raoul Bellanova, who visited the opposition locker room after the contest in search of a picture – ostensibly for the ‘gram – with his idol.

Well, Raoul. Here it is. Maybe the happiest moment of your young life so far, captured forever… featuring Giorgio Chiellini’s meat and two veg.

Let’s play a game. Let’s play a game called: Can you spot it?


What did you think?

That we were just going to show you a closeup of Giorgio Chiellini’s dong? Did you? Is that what you thought? Are you now disappointed you don’t have a zoomed in rod almost poking you in the eyeballs?

Well, you were wrong. We have far more integrity than that.

Which is why we stuck the aubergine emoji over it.

Bellanova, in fairness, did apologise in a separate Instagram post after deleting the original, professing his innocence by saying that he was unaware of Chiellini’s… shall we say… presence, behind him.

Translated, it reads: “I am deeply sorry for what came out on social media at this time. I apologize first of all with Giorgio Chiellini, it was not my intention.

“I assure him and all the football fans that I just took a picture with a great champion, but I did not post anything on my social media, nothing on my profile nor on my stories, nor would I do it after a defeat, the smile of photo is for making a little dream.

“I made the only mistake, which I regret, that I shared the photo with some friends, who shared it, without having checked it first.”

Fortunately, for Bellanova’s sake, the hardened (thankfully not in this instance) Juve defender is the sort of player that probably won’t really give a shit about something like this, er, popping up on the internet.

After all, how often have you heard it in bruising Champions League encounters over the years, the commentary, simply:

“Chiellini… great tackle.”