Count Binface reveals Clacton by-election manifesto

Here it is, the moment we've all been waiting for!

In two-and-a-half weeks time, on August 13, the eyes of British politics will be on Clacton as Nigel Farage seeks a return to parliament as MP for the Essex constituency.

But after all the major parties refused to stand candidates, instead keeping their powder dry for potentially another Clacton by-election after the outcome of the parliamentary investigation into Farage, this left the path clear for one intergalactic politician to take on the Reform UK leader.

Count Binface has captured the imagination of many and has made it his goal to thwart Farage in the by-election.

Whilst his odds seem slim, but not impossible, maybe this will sway voters – his Clacton by-election Manifesto.

Some classic Binface policies are in there, such as pledges to build one affordable home, ‘cut your taxes and raise everyone else’s’, cap 99 Flake ice creams at 99p, nationalising Adele and bringing back Ceefax.

But some new policies have also been announced.

These include a few pledges aimed at his rival Farage, such as a promise to spend more time in Clacton-on-Sea than in Washington DC, a ban on MPs who resign mid-parliament then standing in the resulting by-election, and a vow to not accept any £5m gifts from crypto billionaires (on Earth).

Count Binface will also force MPs who change party mid-parliament to face a by-election, which would be bad news for much of Reform UK.

The intergalactic figure seems to have listened to some public recommendations as well, as his manifesto includes an idea from ‘Jack, aged 10’ to get oil and gas companies to pay for solar panels for everyone.

Sharing the manifesto on X, the Count wrote: “Here it is. My manifesto for the 2026 Clacton By-Election. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Join me, clean up Clacton and let’s make 13th August Bin Day!”