Andrew quip wins best Christmas cracker joke award as top 10 revealed

A joke about Oasis took second place

Having been stripped of his title and privileges, he now tops the list of the best Christmas cracker joke.

The British public voted in the annual competition which is commissioned by the comedy channel U&Gold.

“Why is Prince Andrew not writing any Christmas books? He hasn’t got any titles!”, is the winner, written by Ben Smith from Chelmsford.

His mocking of Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor’s fall from royal status means he will also receive £1,500, in addition to getting the top prize.

But jokes about the former Duke of York don’t stop here.

“What do Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor and a snowman have in common? They’re both out in the cold”, also makes this year’s top 10 list, coming in at number four.

A joke about Oasis took the second place.

“Why don’t Noel and Liam want to open their presents early on Christmas morning?” the joke asks. “They need a little time to wake up.”

The rock band from Manchester had their long-awaited reunion tour last summer, and it became a massive moment in pop culture.

And the rest of the lists includes festive gags about politicians Nigel Farage and Angela Rayner, as well as celebs Lily Allen and David Harbour.

Pop star Sabrina Carpenter and the Traitors host Claudia Winkleman are also part of the list.

Keir Starmer’s freebies was the subject of last year’s winner, and a joke about the British Museum was the winning joke two years ago.

Full list of the top 10 jokes for 2025:

1. Why is Prince Andrew not writing any Christmas books? He hasn’t got any titles.
2. Why don’t Noel and Liam want to open their presents early on Christmas morning? They need a little time to wake up.
3. Which pop star carves her own wooden nativity scene? Sabrina Carpenter.
4. What do Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor and a snowman have in common? They’re both out in the cold.
5. What is a French burglar’s favourite Christmas film? Louvre, Actually.
6. Could Lily Allen and David Harbour get back together for Christmas? Stranger Things have happened.
7. Why won’t Angela Rayner get any Christmas presents this year? Santa can’t decide which address to deliver to.
8. What is Claudia Winkleman’s favourite part of Christmas dinner? The Taters.
9. Does Celia Imrie beat her family at Christmas party games? Yes, she trumps them all.
10. Where has Santa been more than Nigel Farage? His house in Clacton.