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21st May 2018

Meghan and Harry released their official wedding photos and there’s a lot to dissect

Ciara Knight

The! Content! Is! Still! Coming! With! No! Sign! Of! An! End! In! Sight!

A wedding took place over the weekend. It was a relatively quiet affair with a few select attendees and then broadcast all over the world for everyone to see.

In a shock twist, it appears that the couple have had the novel idea to take photographs of their wedding, presumably for proof and tax purposes.

Celebrity and fashion photographer Alexi Lubomirski was tasked with capturing Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s special day, which he seems to have done.

A moody black and white image filter was applied to the first image, which could well be the promo poster for a movie about a Marine who accidentally sits on wet cement and must live the rest of his life stuck to a set of steps. His wife, in the ultimate act of romance, also sits on wet cement right underneath him. Coming soon to Netflix.

Next, we see the poster for a jaunty romcom about a couple that are incredibly fertile. They just keep having children until one of them dies. It’s a gripping tale and although it’ll go straight to DVD, it becomes a cult classic among goths.

This one is actually quite a nice photograph.

Obviously there’s a variety of facial expressions to unpack here, which I have no qualms whatsoever in doing.

Let’s figure out what’s going through these crazy cats’ heads after a long day of being filthy stinking rich.

“This entire day was a waste of a new hip”

“Why do they use microphones on Lip Sync Battle?”

“Yes! I’m never going to run short of Instagram #TBT posts”

“If I married Jimmy Carr, my name would be Camilla Parker-Carr lol”

“Why is my face alway so red, I thought lizards are cold-blooded

“We look like a Benetton advert lol”


“Why the fuck was James Corden at the wedding?”

“We should’ve called the new baby Greg lol just for bants”

“If I see one headline about Pippa’s arse in the papers tomorrow I SWEAR…”


“When I’m king, all we’re eating is burgers. They’ll call me the Burger King”

“What the fuck kind of Tudors bullshit has she married into?”

“Who’s Shane MacGowan and why does Prince Philip keep calling me that?”