‘Happy cows’: Can experts really make cows smile on way to slaughterhouse?

Yes, you herd right! 

Sitting on high chairs, "like in Baywatch", a group of scientists observed cows at Neil Dyson's Buckinghamshire farm - to see if they were happy. Yes, you herd right. Happy! For this experiment, the cows got dressed up - in Fitbits - while geo-locators on the ceiling tracked their movements and observers crunched the data to assess things like social exclusion. Brushes were also available for the bovine to bump up against... if they fancied it, and sometimes, apparently, they did. This bizarre scene was part of research conducted since January by independent experts for dairy cooperative Arla, the findings of which will be used by animal behaviour scientists to develop an algorithm to help farmers determine if their herd is happy. The idea is that the technology will be made available to farmers at Arla's 2,000 farms, and farms across the country, ushering in, what is hoped to be, a new standard for cow welfare. Just how the algorithm will work is unknown, with the findings of the study at Dyson's 'innovation farm' not due until January. Dyson, whose 400-strong dairy farm supplies milk to Arla’s Aylesbury dairy along with major supermarkets and McDonald's, is currently the sole participant. [caption id="attachment_291734" align="alignnone" width="2048"] Farmer Neil Dyson with his ladies (Picture: Adam Bloodworth)[/caption] "This is all about getting right back to the cow to understand what she needs by working really closely with cow behavioural experts," says Alice Swift, Arla’s head of agriculture. "Intuitively no one knows cows better than farmers, but that’s like them marking their own homework." Cows, indisputably, have pretty miserable lives. They're separated from their young, impregnated by iron rods, packed into trucks before being packed into boxes, by the slice, ready for the pan. Inside Dyson's cow shed it's hard to tell who might be happy, depressed, or even moo-dy. The herd has individually sectioned-off areas to lay down in, but they're just big enough to contain them and more thought appears to have gone into where they shit - and how easy that will be to clear - than their comfort. “Not all farmers are interested in trying new things out, but what we’re hoping from this project is that people will consume milk products knowing that a cow has used grass to make that milk," Dyson surmises proudly, adding: "And they will feel that the cow has had the best life she possibly could.” However, three-quarters of Dyson's calves are sent to slaughter a few months after birth. PETA thinks the idea of upbeat bovine is a moot point. “ Farmers, and the agriculture industry, have been fighting an unwinnable PR battle since farming began. They kill animals -  2.6m cattle a year live and die on the production line, according to the - and the planet - agriculture is responsible for a "substantial proportion" of UK (10 per cent) and global (10-12 per cent) greenhouse gas emissions that cause climate change, . But with shed-loads of dairy-free alternatives now available on the shelves - milk sales marginally declining - and Brits eating less meat () could the 'happy cows' concept be the industry's first real attempt at changing the narrative around life in the cow-shed? [caption id="attachment_291736" align="alignnone" width="2048"] Cows using the automatic brushes developed by scientists in partnership with Arla (Picture: Adam Bloodworth)[/caption] However, he acknowledges that changes in the cowshed might come too late. Cows often carry trauma from birth. [caption id="attachment_291733" align="alignnone" width="2048"] Hello there... (Picture: Adam Bloodworth)[/caption] While the farm findings are yet to be scrutinised, Rutter believes a few basic things would enhance a cows' happiness - access to indoor and outdoor areas, an area to lay down together socially - and brushes. By "preference testing", Rutter said, experts can determine where a cow's motivation lies, which in turn, helps them work out what they really want. Rutter concedes the happy cows' project, at least in part, is about keeping customers happy... and drinking milk and eating steak. That isn't lost on Swift, Arla's head of agriculture: