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Lifestyle

12th Jan 2017

18 things only your housemates can know about you

You don't use the giant Sports Direct mug. That's my giant Sports Direct mug.

Rich Cooper

1. They have the privilege of seeing you before a big night out

Photo: @HannahBready_

 

2. And the state you return in after

Photo: @HannahBready_

 

3. Not to mention your extraordinary hangover the next day

Photo: @ChristaDoolan

 

4. They’re witnesses to the horrors you create in the kitchen

…looks pretty good, tbh.

 

5. They also see the true extent of your Domino’s habit

Photo: @SocialMeSavvy

 

6. They’ve got a pretty decent idea of what your sex life is like

 

7. Or how, er, independent you are

 

8. They know what your bedroom looks like when you don’t have a potential love interest coming round

Photo: @djgklh

“Where did the cats come from?”

“They come, they go. We keep it casual.”

 

9. They know how particular you are about your special mug

Photo: @_fosteralex

In other words: they don’t touch your special mug.

 

10. And they know the way you like your tea in your special mug

Photo: @seanbigfellamel

NOT like that.

 

11. They know all-too-well about the length of time you spend in the bathroom

Photo: 20th Century Fox

 

12. But hopefully not exactly what you’re doing in there

Photo: 20th Century Fox

Don’t @ us, Simpsons fans. We know these scenes aren’t sequential.

 

13. They know just how much of your humour relies on quotes

Photo: 20th Century Fox

Relying on quotes from The Simpsons? We couldn’t possibly relate.

 

14. They know the full extent of your laziness

Photo: @oliviaharvey123

Not only are you too lazy to go and talk to them, you’re too lazy to even text.

 

15. And maybe this sometimes – sometimes – trips over into housework

Photo: @juliecgardner

“There wasn’t time to do the dishes, I was too busy doing your mother.”

“See, this is why I moved out, Dad. Now please get out of my house.”

 

16. They’re the only ones privileged enough to get your excellent notes

Photo: @benjaminbisset

 

17. Or your excellent pranks

Photo: @TheHever

 

18. But above all, they know how astonishingly terrible you are at FIFA

Feature: @_fosteralex / @benjaminbisset