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14th Jul 2015

Stage one of Shaggy’s plan to defeat ISIS is complete

Kevin Beirne

Back when we first reported on reggae singer Shaggy’s plot to take down ISIS, we must admit that we didn’t take him all that seriously. But then something happened.

While it may be hard to believe, there is no other explanation beyond the fact that Shaggy has decided to single-handedly take down ISIS… from the inside.

By removing the main singer-songwriter in the ISIS ranks, Shaggy has created an opening that only someone of his unique talents can fill.

The clues about Shaggy’s espionage have always been there, we just never thought to look. Hell, he even flaunted them right in front of our faces.

Have you ever wondered where he got the nickname “Mr Boombastic”? Talk about hiding in plain sight.

Looking back, it’s clear that Shaggy has been preparing himself for years. And we know he won’t crack under the pressure of interrogation or torture.

The evidence is undeniable, Shaggy is not just the greatest spy the world has ever seen, he’s our only hope.