Day 49 – THE FINAL!
Folks, we made it. The Love Island Final has aired and therefore the show has officially ended for the fiscal year 2018.
Two months of cancelling plans between the hours of 9pm-10pm, Sunday-Friday. Eight weeks of strengthening our bonds with loved ones due to aligning opinions of reality television stars. 49 days of being in absolute awe at one man’s skin’s ability to become and remain bright pink at all times.
It’s been a journey. From the “Who cares?” Facebook comments to the “Unfollowing” and even the “You actually pay someone a wage to write this?”, it’s been, at all times, a deeply memorable experience for everyone involved.
So, for the last time this year, here’s six deeply important moments you might’ve missed during last night’s Love Island final episode.
1. All of Adam’s former lovers were invited along to the final show
It was a heartwarming touch from the producers and one that we certainly didn’t see coming. Last night’s Love Island final drafted in every single one of Adam’s former lovers to be in the audience. As visible in the above image, they came close to running out of space, but the girls squashed in as best they could, with some even sitting in the pool due to space restrictions. Although Adam didn’t make it to the final, at least his previous partners could be present to share the experience, regardless of his success in the competition. Love Island is nothing if not an inclusive and sex-positive institution. Hurrah!
2. In the ultimate test of his relationship with Dani, Jack was briefly reunited with his one true love
Stationery! His one true love is stationery! Jack was given the ultimate Love Island test when the producers made the decision to reunite him with a bunch of stationery. They’d already tempted Jack’s loyalty with his ex girlfriend, but to no avail, so it was time to bring in the heavies. Visibly, Jack’s head was turned. He loves a blue Bic biro more than life itself, so pairing that with an industry standard clipboard was a bold move. Had there been another recoupling before the final, it could’ve gone either way for Jack and Dani. Thankfully, his love for the second most famous Dyer prevailed in the end, for theirs is a bond that shall last an eternity <3
3. The first draft of Laura’s declaration of love speech was a bit tragic
After a stressful afternoon of trying on precisely one hideous dress each, then getting into dressing gowns and sipping iced beverages (with paper straws), the girls got to work on their declarations of love. Each of the contestants put pen to paper in an attempt to pour their hearts out to the guys using only their words. Laura, who’s in the newest relationship out of everyone, probably went through a number of drafts before she landed on the final effort. Because of journalism, I went to through the bin and found her first draft and have attached it above. It’s tragic, but it’s also quality Love Island Final #content, so…
4. Jack revealed himself to be an incredible PE teacher, should he ever want to follow that pursuit
As Megan was struggling to recite her declaration of love for Wes, she took a moment to compose herself. Megan was overcome with emotion, dizzy at the thought of having to face the outside world and settle back into a life of obscurity despite now having 1 million Instagram followers. But old Jacky boy was there to offer up some support. From the back of the classroom, his eternally sarcastic sounding Kent accent interjected with “You’re doing really well”, like what you say to a friend who’s helping you move but just dropped an entire box of delph down the stairs. You can’t get mad because they were helping, but also that was expensive crockery and you’re mad as hell. Anyway, in that moment, Jack became the embodiment of every PE teacher we’ve all had at school. Disinterested, putting on a show, basically just being a banter merchant. God bless you, Jack Fincham-Dyer.
5. The Hangover reboot looks decent tbh
But whom is going to play which role?
Phil: Wes
Stu: Paul
Doug: Josh
Alan: Jack
[All decisions are final. Do not @ me].
6. Upon learning that she had come second in the competition, Laura kneed Dani ‘in the vagina’
Amid the hijinks that presumably comes with winning a reality television series and finally being able to have *~relations~* with the person you’ve been seeing for two months, it’s likely that the celebrations will be a smidge raucous. As Laura and Dani embraced, it later emerged that Laura had kneed Dani “in the vagina”, a facet of information that Laura loudly relayed to Caroline, whose microphone was also extremely live and transmitting audio at the time. Did we, the general public need to know this? No. But is it comforting to hear that these mere mortals who are going to be catapulted to superstardom over the coming weeks are still, at the end of the day, just as clumsy as you and I? Again, no. But still, god bless the Love Island. Thank you for another stunning series.
Still want more? I feel you. Why not read 11 important life lessons we learned from Love Island 2018? There are far worse ways to spend your time, I can assure you.
Images via ITV
