The CGI Great White Shark that recently subjected Michael Phelps to an embarrassing defeat in a swimming race is now eyeing a lucrative boxing bout with Floyd Mayweather, Sports Desk Of Sport can confirm.
Racing over a distance of 100m, the 8ft-long aquatic beast eased to a two second victory over humankind’s most decorated Olympian last month.
Explaining that he no longer has anything to prove in the water, the Great White has now made clear that he intends to turn his fins to boxing and, more specifically, a money-spinning Las Vegas fight with Mayweather.
“A lot of people tell me that boxing is completely different to the sort of thing I’m used to,” the fearsome killing machine from beneath the waves explained.
“This doesn’t bother me though. After all, you don’t need much boxing experience to step into the ring with one of the greatest fighters ever these days, do you?”
Mayweather, who remains undefeated in his professional boxing career, would be seen as the heavy favourite in such a fight, with the Great White Shark well aware that he would have to overcome a number of significant obstacles to stand a chance against him.
“It’s no secret that Mayweather’s defence will make it pretty difficult for me to land punches,” the shark admitted.
“Not only that, but I also lack human hands. Trying to punch with large pectoral fins could prove tricky.
“Apparently, boxing’s a no biting sport, which is also a bit shit from my point of view,” the shark added. “Not being able to rip Floyd Mayweather’s body apart with my set of razor-sharp, serrated teeth – leaving him to bleed to death on the canvas – is something that obviously works in his favour.”
A shark’s inability to survive more than a few hours out of water would also go against the Great White should such a fight ever materialise, as would the fact that he is nothing more than a computer-made special effect created to help promote Shark Week on the Discovery Channel; not even a real shark.
