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14th Nov 2016

San Marino provide Thomas Müller with 10 reasons Germany’s 8-0 win wasn’t ‘pointless’

They've hit back at the World Cup winner.

Tom Victor

Germany stayed top of their World Cup qualifying group with an 8-0 demolition of San Marino over the weekend, but Thomas Müller wasn’t happy.

The Bayern Munich forward played 90 minutes in the victory, failing to find the net himself but watching teammate Serge Gnabry fire home a debut hat-trick.

It’s fair to say the visitors were far more dominant than your average away side, racking up close to a shot on goal every two minutes.

After the game, Müller said he ‘didn’t understand’ the point of games like the one between the world’s second-best and 201st-best teams.

He suggested the minnows’ agricultural approach to defending might introduce ‘unnecessary risks,’ the world’s media have reported.

But the Sammarinese officials clearly had no plans to let the forward’s views go unchallenged, with press officer Alan Gasperoni presenting not one, not two, but 10 reasons why Müller was wrong.

‘Dear Thomas Müller,’ Gasperoni writes on his Facebook page.

‘You’re right. The games like the one Friday evening mean nothing. To you.

‘On the other hand, dear Thomas, you do not need to come up to San Marino almost for free in a weekend in which, without the Bundesliga, you’d be able to stay with your wife on the couch in your luxury villa, or who knows, you could have taken part some event organized by sponsors cashing several thousand Euro.

‘I believe you, but I would give you 10 reasons why I think that the match between San Marino and Germany has been very useful.’

For those of you who aren’t fluent in Italian, the Daily Mirror have provided a helpful translation:

  1. It served to show you that not even against the teams as poor as ours you can’t score a goal – and don’t say you weren’t pissed when Simoncini stopped you scoring…
  2. It served to make it clear to your managers (and even at Beckenbauer and Rummenigge) that football is not owned by them but by of all those who love it, among which, like it or not, WE are included.
  3. It served to remind hundreds of journalists from all over Europe that there are still guys who follow their dreams and not your rules.
  4. It served to confirm that you Germans you will never change and that history has taught you that “bullying” is not always guarantee of victory.
  5. It served to show the 200 guys in San Marino who play the game for whatever reason why their coaches ask them to always work their hardest. Who knows – maybe one day all their sacrifice will not be repaid with a game against the champions of the world.
  6. It served to your Federation (and also to ours) to collect the money of image rights with which, in addition to paying you for your trouble, they can build pitches for the kids of your own country, schools, and make football stadiums safer… Our Federation, I’ll let you in on a secret, is building a new football pitch in a remote village called Acquaviva.You could build it with six months of your salary, we’ll do it with the rights of 90 minutes of game. Not bad right?
  7. It served to a country as big as your pitch in Munich to go in the paper for a good reason, because a football match is always a good reason.
  8. It served to your friend Gnabry to begin with, in the national team and scoring three goals.
  9. It made some Sanmarinese people a little happy to remember that we have a real national team.
  10. It’s served to make me realise that even if you wear the most beautiful adidas kits, underneath you’re always the ones that put white socks under their sandals.

That’ll show him.

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