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16th Aug 2015

Juan Mourinho’s guys suck at soccer as Man City Franchise Club kick their asses real bad

Soccer Guy

At the completion whistle in Manchester, Juan Mourinho looked so sick, he needed a doctor.

No Band-Aid would cover up the hurting inside the Special Juan’s real sad body as his EPL World Champions got totally owned by the Manchester City Light Blues.

Right from the start of the soccer game, Chelsea Franchise Club’s soccer totally sucked and before they headed into the locker room they were behind to Sergio Agwearo’s goalshot. Getting the soccer ball in the danger box zone, he kicked it and it went in to the soccer goal for a goal.

As both franchises left the field after the first quarter, things got kinda crazy. After taking an elbow kick to the back of the head from Rio Fernandinho, Chelsea Franchise Club’s Antony Costa went totally insane.

No major felony card was awarded to the City guy – and seeing this, Costa starting going crazy, saying the soccer referee was a humongous douchebag and how he should go read up on his soccer manuals. Sex Fabregas tried to hug it out with his buddy, but Costa turned Sex down.


In the second quarter, Antony Costa cooled it, despite getting in a tangle with Mangler. Chelsea Franchise Club tried real hard. Last year’s EPL MVP Micky Hazard had a chance to knot things up, but couldn’t find Hart’s ballbag.

Juan Mourinho decided to mix things up and sent Radical Falcao on from the sub shack. But just as he got on the soccer field, the Light Blue uniforms found the SGI again. From the apex restart kick, Company’s head kick wiped out any hope of an equalization strike for the visitors.

Manchester City v Chelsea - Premier League

Minutes after the guy in the number two jersey had doubled the home franchise’s  lead, they doubled it again as Rio Fernandinho – the guy that could have got a major felony card in the first quarter – kicked home from the DBZ perimeter line.

It’s been a lame-ass start to the season for the Roman Ibrahimovic-owned-franchise who, after one tie and one defeat, are yet to win a soccer game all season. If they don’t win any more games from now until the end of the soccer season, they will finish the season with no wins at all.

during the Barclays Premier League match between Manchester City and Chelsea at the Etihad Stadium on August 16, 2015 in Manchester, England.