An incomplete list of things Kevin De Bruyne could assist

Kevin De Bruyne has reminded everyone, once again, that he can pass a football like nobody else

If you're one of the few people in the world who doesn't appreciate the neverending fantasy that is Kevin De Bruyne passing a football then I can't help you. Just take a look at this. It's complete mastery of time, space, pressure, weight, angles, vision... everything. https://twitter.com/SkySportsPL/status/1177990976280940544 And it isn't, of course, the first time he has done something like this. He is a repeat offender. A man who could pass a football through the holes in a cheese grater. In celebration of that, here is an incomplete list of the things Kevin De Bruyne could assist. 1. Goals (obviously) 2. Brexit negotiations 3. A beautiful funeral service for a loved one 4. The completion of George R. R. Martin's final Game of Thrones novel 5. Your misguided university dissertation on the works of Samuel Beckett 6. The actual, successful killing of John Wick 7. An eventual resolution to several of the world's ongoing international conflicts 8. Donald Trump's magic wall to keep out immigrants (although he would refuse to assist with this as a matter of principle) 9. More goals 10. The zipping up of Arsene Wenger's giant Arsenal coat 11. A genuinely good, successful movie adaptation of a video game. Possibly Portal, maybe Metal Gear Solid 12. The universal respect and appreciation of ginger people 13.  The return of the original Sugababes 14. The sorry, sorry state of your Hinge profile 15. A total reversal of climate change 16. A good episode of The Big Bang Theory 17. Another Frank Ocean album 18. Thomas Cook 19. Graeme Souness's anger management classes 20. Educating Wayne Hennessey on the atrocities of World War 2 21. The building and erection of an Ikea chest of drawers 22. Even more goals 23. The capture of Chansey in the Safari Zone 24. Adding things to this stupid list 25. Actually making you read that copy of Don Quixote you bought for some reason from Waterstones with absolutely no intention of reading 26. That one hair that always sticks up and makes you look like the Haribo kid no matter how many times you brush it flat 27. The resurrection of the career of Paul McCartney 28. The proper implementation of VAR 29. Lewis Grabban's facial hair 30. Your failing relationship 31. Your tax returns 32. Your entry into the office 'Bake Off' competition 33. Your inherent desire to drink several pints on a weeknight 34. You 35. The locating of Big Foot 36. The return of Pluto to full 'planet' status 37. The prevention of the 2008 global recession 38. Your woeful Fantasy Football team 39. The locating of your keys and wallet when you're rushing to work in the morning 40. Manchester City's PR team in light of the Bernardo Silva controversy 41. The gradual reduction in the amount of times Pep Guardiola says 'Guys' in any given team talk 42. Repairing the feisty relationship between Frank Lampard and the entire city of Leeds 43. Phil Jones. I'm not sure in what capacity, I just think he could help. He clearly misses Chris Smalling 44. Getting that dog you like the look of to come over and rub against your leg 45. Completing Minesweeper 46. Belatedly nationalising the railways 47. The really strange small-talk interactions you have when you bump into people you only kind of know on public transport 48. Getting served whilst stood at the bar amongst lots of attractive women and burly men who have folded their £20 pound notes in half 49. The total eradication of mayonnaise from everything 50. Liverpool once again failing to win the Premier League