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08th Oct 2016

Derby nailed on to win 2017/18 Premier League after sacking Nigel Pearson

Get yer bets on now, folks

Tom Victor

Ostriches the world over are rejoicing at the news that Nigel Pearson has been relieved of his duties as manager of Derby County.

The former Leicester City boss has left the iPro Stadium after the club picked up just six points – and scored just three goals – in their opening nine matches before caretaker Chris Powell dragged them up the table.

The club confirmed that Pearson would not be in charge for the league meeting with Cardiff City at the end of September, and he soldiered on for two more weeks amid talk of drones before the club finally took action, parting ways by mutual consent.

‘The Board of Derby County will now turn their attention to appointing a new manager as soon as possible and expect to announce a successor in a timely fashion,’ a club statement reads.

But we know football is all about trends, which is why we’re making Derby County our early favourites for next season’s Premier League title.

Derby County v Blackburn Rovers - Sky Bet ChampionshipNathan Stirk/Getty Images

Now we know what you’re thinking, Derby aren’t even in the Premier League.

No bother. If the last team to sack Pearson went on to win the league, it’s basically impossible for the Rams not to end May 2018 with the trophy in the hands of captain *checks squad list* Richard Keogh? No wonder they’re struggling.

They’ve already got a ready-made replacement whose first name begins with C, with Powell overseeing a 2-0 victory over the Bluebirds followed by a draw with Reading, and anyone who doesn’t already call Andi Weimann ‘the Mahrez of the Alps’ is frankly clueless about football.

Hang on. Pearson had his rant about ostriches. Weimann’s from Austria…or Österreich. It’s written in the stars.

If you don’t agree with that line of thinking then you must surely have your head buried in the sand.

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