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18th Jun 2024

Count Binface will force former prime ministers to do national service

Jack Peat

The self-described Recyclon will also cap the cost of 99 Flakes at 99p

Count Binface will force all former prime ministers to undergo a period of national service if he gets elected into government, the self-styled intergalactic space warrior announced this week.

With the General Election just weeks away, Binface has released a 24-point manifesto as he looks to unseat prime minister Rishi Sunak in his North Yorkshire constituency of Richmond.

Alongside a commitment to national service for former PMs, the 5,702-year-old Recyclon has promised to cap the cost of 99 Flakes at 99p and force all water bosses to take a dip in British rivers to “see how they like it”.

He will also see the reintroduction of Ceefax, the world’s first teletext information service, and ensure that Children in Need “finally get round” to fixing Pudsey’s eye, as well as provide WiFi on trains that actually works and “trains that work”.

Binface, the satirical political character created by comedian Jonathan David Harvey, stood as a candidate for Uxbridge and South Ruislip in the 2019 general election against the then prime minister, Boris Johnson.

He also stood in the London Mayoral elections in 2021 and 2024, beating the BNP on his latest outing, much to the amusement of people on social media.

In earlier elections, Harvey stood as Lord Buckethead, but was forced to change the character due to a copyright dispute with the American filmmaker Todd Durham, who created Lord Buckethead for his 1984 science fiction film Hyperspace.

Since then Harvey has used the forced name change to his advantage by using the platform of Binface to promote electoral participation, with the slogan, “Make your vote COUNT”.

This year, his slogan has been “time to take the bins out”, in reference to the tired and scandal-hit Conservative Party.


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