For anyone that can’t stop farting
He who denied it, supplied it.
He who deduced it, produced it.
He who attributed it, distributed it.
He who detected it, projected it.
He who perceived it, conceived it.
He who expressed it, compressed it.
He who related it, deflated it.
– The Fart by F.R Farthead (1937)
Granted, we all had to study that beautiful poem for our school exams (just us?) and while ‘stuffier’ people might think that fart jokes are unbecoming and beneath them, there’s no denying the comedic value of someone deploying one at just the right time.
There are some people, meanwhile, who pride themselves on the fact that their farts could choke a donkey. You know who you are.
Well, on that stinky note, a company has invented a cushion – and clothes – that stop the smell of farts from seeping out.
After the success of their flatulence-filtering clothes, Shreddies (not the cereal) have created a cushion that could prevent your nostrils from disintegrating after someone has ‘crop dusted’ all over your room.
Available in black and grey, the creators of this cushion state that “our flatulence filtering cushion can be used at home, work or on the go, thanks to it’s lightweight and discreet design. This cushion was designed to give you the added reassurance you’re looking for”.
If you’re curious about how the fabric works, here’s the explainer.
“Shreddies flatulence filtering garments feature an activated carbon back panel that absorbs all flatulence odours. Due to its highly porous nature, the odour vapours become trapped and neutralised by the cloth, which is then reactivated by simply washing the garment.
“Previous research published in The American Journal of Gastroenterology found activated carbon underwear to be the most effective method of removing flatulence odours.”
For anyone interested, it’s priced at £28 and you can order it here.
In case you’re buying this as a surprise gift for someone that can’t stop farting, we urge you to be discreet.
After all, we wouldn’t want it to just slip out.
All images via Shreddies
