Men around the country say to each other – “Congratulations, we made it”

Men around the country have been congratulating each other on making through the toughest stint of the year.

The football pre-season officially ends this weekend, and emotional men up and down the country have been shaking each other's hands, patting each other on the back, and congratulating each other on making it from June to August without any football whatsoever, expect for the Euros... and the Olympic football. "I just can't believe it, last weekend I was so bored I went for a walk... a fucking walk! Not this weekend, this weekend it's just me and the TV," said Steve Roberts, 32, from Liverpool. "I broke down in work at about midday on Friday, my colleague asked me what was the matter. I'd just finished putting my fantasy team together and suddenly it hit me... it's back, the Premier League is actually back," said Mohamed Walji, a West Ham fan from Essex. For many fans it felt like the day would never come. It's been a difficult four weeks, with some football fans even feigning interest in the demise of the Labour Party. The new season kicks off with champions Leicester City taking on newly promoted Hull City, who have about eight players. But the big match of the weekend is Arsenal vs Liverpool on Sunday, with both teams competing to see which of them can win the most matches this season without actually winning a trophy. "Giroud can do it, he can score 30 goals this season," said an Arsenal fan who asked to remain anonymous, before breaking down into tears and screaming "why", "why", before following it up with "just announce Benzema".