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25th Apr 2015

David Cameron loves football so much that he can’t quite remember who he supports

Claret and whom?

The Prime Minister has committed the cardinal sin of misremembering which football team he supports. It’s Villa…no it’s West Ham…no wait…

In 2001, the Eton-educated Conservative leader admitted to Parliament that he wasn’t really a football fan. Which is fair enough really…

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But after discovering the power of football as a tool to relate to the great unwashed, Cameron adopted Aston Villa as his life-long team.

This was no doubt a committee decision based on extensive focus group feedback. Or perhaps he confused ‘mid-table’ with ‘Middle England’…

But yesterday, the bumbling PM confused his claret and blue teams and declared his undying support for West Ham United:

“We are a shining example of a country where multiple identities work…where you can support Man Utd, the Windies and Team GB all at the same time – of course, I’d rather you supported West Ham!”

Cameron later blamed the mistake on ‘brain fade’, and performed a U-turn to his U-turn, so he was back to supporting Aston Villa again:

“I’m a Villa fan…I must have been overcome by something…this morning. But there we are, these things sometimes happen when you are on the stump.”

Yes David, proper football fans are often forgetting who they support. It happens all the time mate…