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22nd Nov 2021

Boris Johnson confirms what we all already knew – he wants to live in a pig’s world

Ava Evans

The Prime Minister has praised Peppa Pig as ‘pure genius’ in a bizarre speech about electric cars

In a speech about green policies on Monday, Boris Johnson confirmed something quite unexpected – he wants to live in a pig’s world.

Peppa Pig’s, that is.

“Hands up anyone whose been to Peppa Pig World” said Boris Johnson, during a speech about electric car chargers, to a room full of bemused business leaders.

“Peppa pig world is my kind of place”, Johnson announced. “It has very safe streets, discipline in schools, heavy emphasis on mass transit systems. Even if they’re a bit stereotypical about daddy pig.”

Boasting a nuclear family, adequately funded transport links, and Bobbys regularly on the beat, Johnson’s Britain arguably falls short of the utopian standard set by the children’s cartoon.

The revelation came after the PM was seen fumbling through sheets of paper, having lost his place in his speech somewhere between making “vroom vroom” car noises and comparing himself to Moses.

In a toe-curling deviation from the script, Johnson regaled members of the Confederation of British Industry (CBI) with vignettes from his trip to a themed children’s park.

He described Peppa Pig as a symbol of “Global Britain”, which, as an aside, could be good news for International Trade Secretary Liz Truss and her continued ventures into Chinese Pork Markets.

For Johnson “the real lesson” for going to Peppa Pig World was about the power of  UK creativity.

“Who would have believed that a pig that looks like a hairdresser – a Picasso-shaped hairdryer – a pig that was rejected by the BBC would now be exported to 180 countries.

“With theme parks in the New Forest – and China!”

Speaking today in North Tyne the Prime Minister’s latest gaff might be considered misplaced, and not least because “Peppa Pig World” is actually located 6 hours away, in Hampshire.

Although the Prime Minister’s request for a “show of hands” revealed one audience member had in fact visited the theme park, presumably with his toddler and not as one Twitter user joked, with David Cameron.

Labour commentators described Johnson’s speech as a “cluster-cringe” and “national embarrassment”, with Shadow Chancellor Rachel Reeves claiming the “shambolic” performance shows “how unseriously he takes British business, but also how his government lacks any plan for growth or to propel our enterprising nations forward”.

Responding to claims that “No one was laughing, because the joke’s not funny anymore”, Johnson told broadcasters: “I think that people got the vast majority of the points I wanted to make, and I thought it went over well.”

Sir Keir Starmer gave a speech at the same conference announcing that Labour will become the “party of business” and reassuring attendees that, unlike the PM, “The only f-words I will be using are foreign investment, fair trade, foreign policy and fiduciary duty”.

Starmer had been attempting to make a point about investment.

On Monday evening, Johnson faces a potential rebellion from Tory MPs in the commons, on a controversial vote over social care.

MPs will vote on implementing a lifetime cap of personal contributions of £86,000 on social care.

The plan has been described by some as having the potential to plunge millions into poverty, where many could be at risk of losing their homes.