Boris Johnson has, for some reason, got a LinkedIn account

A good use of his time, I'm sure you'll agree

Prime minister Boris Johnson has taken advantage of this quiet period in the political calendar to join business networking site LinkedIn. According to Johnson, his reason for doing so is to engage with business owners, something he would usually do at places like the lavish Corinthia Hotel, but due to Covid-19 must now be done digitally. “You can expect to see on there a mixture of written and video content from the PM which will promote UK businesses, jobs and economic announcements," said his spokesperson. We, however, would like to think that Boris will do what all of do on LinkedIn: spend our time fucking around doing basically nothing, and endorsing our friends for skills we know they don't have. Boris Johnson has endorsed Michael Gove for Public Speaking. Or, perhaps, Boris will simply become one of those incredibly annoying LinkedIn wankers who regales his followers with stories of the incredibly wise things that their kids said to them, like:

"Woke up feeling rather glum about this whole Covid-19 thing and the amount of people who’d died under my leadership. I picked up my son to give him to nanny and what he said shocked and inspired me:

'Don’t feel bad daddy,' he said. 'Society is a lie. You are no more responsible for their deaths than they would be for yours. The only god worth believing in is the free market and the public must be sacrificed at the altar of exponential growth.'

Children are wiser than we will ever know. #ChildrenAreTheFuture #KidsSayTheDarndestThings"