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28th Nov 2018

This cow is so big it looks photoshopped

Kyle Picknell

It is not photoshopped, it is just really, really big

Say hello to Knickers, a 6 foot 4, 220 stone cow from Western Australia. Say hello to the news story of the year.

Knickers is so big, in fact, that he has managed to avoid the slaughterhouse and will spend the rest of his gigantic days happily roaming the Lake Preston feedlot in Myalup, around 85 miles south of Perth.

His owner, Geoff Pearson, apparently tried to sell him at auction, but meat processors couldn’t take him because he was ‘simply too big’.

Other than this information, I’m not sure what else to tell you about what is, essentially, just a really, really big cow.

Here are some stills, courtesy of footage from Seven News, just to demonstrate how massive it is.

As you can see, Michael Jordan might be photoshopped onto one of the images above, but Knickers the giant cow is very much real.

Do I have anything else to tell you about this excessively large cow?

The answer is no, no I do not. So here is a – loosely related – giant chicken.

And to end, Alan Partridge on the dangers of oversized animals, particularly with regard to their mental health. As he eloquently puts it:

‘And in these sheds you have 20ft high chickens, and these chickens are scared because they don’t know why they’re so big, and they’re going, “Oh why am I so massive?” and they’re looking down at all the little chickens and they think they’re in an aeroplane because all the other chickens are so small.’

The same, surely, must apply to Knickers, the poor, scared, enormous cow. Please do love and cherish him.