
Lifestyle

Share
23rd December 2025
04:22pm GMT
You can know how good you are under the sheets by nine simple steps, which can be quite revealing about your sex skills, according to two sex experts.
It appears that it isn’t all about simple tricks or things you may have learned looking at porn, as it’s more complicated than that.
There are nine clear signs that you’re doing a good job, which have been highlighted by The Metro.
If you’re curious to know if you have all it takes when it comes to pleasing your partner, look no further.
Your partner wants to do it again
This is the ultimate sign according to experts, even if it seems fairly obvious.
Sex and relationships expert at Lovehoney, Annabelle Knight, told Metro that all what matters is the way you make your partner feel.
You should make your partner feel “safe, wanted, listened to, and fully included”, she says.
You don’t obsess over orgasms
Sex and relationships psychotherapist at 3Fun, Gigi Engle, says that “Great lovers aren’t chasing orgasms like they’re the end-all-be-all for being good at sex.”
It’s about “pacing, curiosity, and staying attuned to our partner’s pleasure”. This means that sex isn’t meant to be a race, or a competition.
You’re genuinely enthusiastic
Knight says that “being present, engaged, and clearly interested is often more attractive than any specific move or technique”. So it doesn’t mean that you need to know every move or sex position in order to be good, after all.
If you are enthusiastic, this will reassure your partner that you really want them.
You’re comfortable slowing things down
Patience is key, according to experts.
Speed might look prioritised in porn, but real life is different.
Engle adds that “comfort with slowing down is an underrated sign of sexual skill", so taking your time builds trust and allows you to connect properly.
You listen - and adapt
“The most reliable signal isn’t what you think happened afterwards, it’s whether your partner felt comfortable enough to be honest in the moment”, Knight argues.
You read non-verbal cues
Listen to the cues which are not necessarily spoken or spelled out.
Knight explains that you can “pick up on tension, hesitation, relaxation, and enthusiasm, and adjust in real time”, if you and your partner are well and truly connected.
You respect boundaries
You should know how to respond to a ‘no’ answer.
Engle explains that “one of the clearest signs you’re good in bed is how you respond to a 'no'. If you can take feedback gracefully, you’re definitely flying above the grade sexually.”
What is more, boundaries will create trust between the partners, so take notes.
You handle nerves and changes well
According to Engle, you can create a safe atmosphere by managing pauses or shifting arousal without taking it personally.
“Confidence in bed isn’t acting or fake," she notes, adding: "And it makes you better at sex!”
You treat aftercare as essential
According to Engle, “people who are good in bed understand that sex doesn’t end the moment everyone gets off.”
It sounds like you may as well cuddle or check in on your partner, as it’s not all over immediately after.
Explore more on these topics: