Jacob recently released a women’s guide to dating
A dating expert has revealed how many dates you should go on before having sex with someone – and says waiting longer can make your relationship stronger.
Jacob Lucas, makes a living out of helping people in their relationships, and says the old-fashioned “wait three dates” rule has some merit.
The 30-year-old, from Westbury, Wiltshire, explained that the recent celibacy trend amongst millennials – abstaining from sex as a way of developing self-confidence – can actually do more harm than good.
Jacob reckons celibacy is a “crutch” for people struggling with dating – and they should change their sex habits rather than cutting it out altogether.
The dating coach said: “I tell all my clients, wait until the third date before having sex.
“If you want something long-term but have sex straight away, there isn’t a chance to build emotional intimacy – it’s just physical.
“If you just stop sex altogether, you’re putting all the emphasis on sex, but the core of it is the emotional connection.
“A lot of my clients who wait until the third date end up in long term relationships. “If you want a relationship but you have sex too soon, it just won’t last – you need to get to know them.”
Jacob admitted that is an “old method” but said “it works, and sometimes things don’t need to be fixed.”
Jacob said the trend where people are celibate for a period of time can be harmful.
He said it won’t fix any issues in the long term – and when you go back to dating you’ll just make all the same mistakes as before.
Instead, Jacob said people should set boundaries and change their perspective on sex: “Going celibate means hyper-fixating on sex as the only goal of your dating life.
“You need re-evaluate how you see it – and see it as something you do with someone you actually like.”
Jacob said waiting three dates will also reduce the chance of being ghosted – because they’ll see you as “relationship material” rather than just having a “casual thing”.
He added: “If you meet someone new, and you’re having sex too fast, you can’t expect that person to go for a long term relationship.
“Because then, you have set the foundations as just sex.
“Waiting three dates means you have time to form an emotional bond rather than it being just physical.”
Consistently having sex when you first meet people before you form an emotional bond, leads to you developing a negative mental connotation with sex, Jacob added.
But once you’ve developed a stronger connection with someone, and you know they’re serious, you don’t have to hold out any more, Jacob said.
“In real layman’s terms, stop having sex with idiots that have red flags and who you know isn’t serious about committing.
“Wait to work out if someone’s good for you – and if after three dates you think they are, then go ahead and have sex all the time!”
Jacob recently released a women’s guide to dating, called ‘Her Dating Coach’.
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