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14th Oct 2018

Mystery person puts googly eyes on monument and the police get involved because 2018


A statue in Georgia now has googly eyes

Without wanting to sound all Richard Keys about this whole thing, some things are just banter and should stay as banter, you know what I mean? The feds shouldn’t be getting involved.

Like, take this statue in Georgia, USA, for instance. I mean, sure, the person who stuck googly eyes on it is probably a bit of a nuisance, but when push comes to shove, they didn’t do anything that morally reprehensible. They didn’t kill anyone, they didn’t maim anyone. They didn’t put a cat in a wheelie bin, or even take a shite on someone’s property.

Sure, they might be a bad egg overall, but this particular shit is funny.

Just look at it…

To give a bit of perspective on why the police got called and are so mad about this whole thing, the monument depicts Nathanael Greene and is a commemoration of the ‘Saviour of the South’ major general of the Continental Army who lived back in the 18th century. He’s dead now but remains a war hero to some.

“Who did this?! Someone placed googly eyes on our historic #NathanaelGreene statue in #JohnsonSquare,” the City of Savannah government wrote on Facebook. “It may look funny but harming our historic monuments and public property is no laughing matter, in fact, it’s a crime.

“We are hoping to find the person responsible! If you have information, please call Savannah Police Department.”

The reception to the whole thing has been mixed.

One person wrote: “So about a month ago I watched some dudes skateboarding on top of the Haitian Soldiers monument in Franklin square. I watched not one, but two cops drive by, and an ambulance with a driver was literally parked right next to it (that was kind of funny because I was waiting for the kid to land on the fence). Y’all weren’t worried about that though. But googly eyes on old Nathaniel?!?”

Another commenter decided a bit of (further) banter was in order: “As a manufacturer of Acme Googly Eyes LLC, I can tell you that I’m shocked and chagrined to see our fine products being used in such a callous and demeaning manner. We here at Googly want to let you know, we are doing everything we can to secure our product and make sure the manner they are used in will only be for serious matters here and forthwith.”

Finally, someone decided to go all #raging over the whole thing: “How about the fact that some of the parking meters are still having issues reading cards, but y’all have no issues handing out parking tickets and booting vehicles? How about last night when I drove down Broughton Street and saw dozens of homeless people sleeping in wind and rain?

“The gang violence, drugs being dealt left and right as cops drive right on by? Many people knowing there’s a huge coke and spice issue here in this city? These should be no laughing matter, not some plastic googly eyes that can be easily removed. Take your jobs more seriously.”

I bet that last guy is fun at parties.

Anyway, the googly eyes have presumably been taken off now, and so the earth keeps on turning, day after day, week after week, year after year, until – much like Nathanael Greene – we all meet our eventual demise. (Though, FYI, feel free to put googly eyes on any statues of me).