25 of the funniest tweets you might have missed in May
May the 31st be with you
Hard to believe another calendar month has elapsed since the last instalment of 'funniest tweets you might have missed' but here we are. The onward marching of time waits for no man.
May was a strong month for content, with Twitter users covering such important topics as renaming golf, life-threatening French translations, Jamie Oliver's demise, Cher's decision to drop her controversial surname and many more besides that.
As we've learned, it's impossible to see all things at all times. It's understandable that some of this month's dankest tweets may have slipped through your precious little attention span. Not to worry, we got you.
Here's 25 of the funniest tweets you might've missed in May, you absolute heathen.
lettuce getting ready to give people e coli https://t.co/70bK153LxA
— jaboukie (@jaboukie) May 1, 2019
Your circus name is
your first name + your surname
that’s it. you’re a clown.
— smol boi zaa (@ZahraDee) May 1, 2019
— chan (@chanbanhi) May 2, 2019
accidentally opened my eyes during prayer at church and saw jesus doing the worm
— andrew (@AndrewChamings) May 1, 2019
Petition to rename mini golf to just “golf” and golf to “large golf”
— Cat Graffam (@catgraffam) May 5, 2019
— will (@fuckmarrywill) May 6, 2019
Apologies in advance pic.twitter.com/hdceyV5b5H
— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) May 12, 2019
Does anyone speak French? Please, my family is starving. pic.twitter.com/pKNi7GbawA
— ♥mark magark♥ (@markedly) May 17, 2019
Me when I’m on the phone to my friend Colin and the receptions bad: pic.twitter.com/D5ZoBQp9Sr
— Paul Black (@paulbIack) May 17, 2019
Jamie Oliver's restaurants go into adminestrone
— Milton Jones (@themiltonjones) May 21, 2019
What a quote. pic.twitter.com/9BJGsd2aoZ
— Stiabhaí Nics (@stephie08) May 21, 2019
Funeral sandwiches be hittin different
— Stephen (@Stephenlough95) May 22, 2019
Me when my alarm goes off pic.twitter.com/NodaGuBNzf
— Rachael (@RachaelvsWorld) May 22, 2019
Theresa May will resign next month to make way for her successor Theresa June.
— Michael Fry (@BigDirtyFry) May 24, 2019
Cher is married to West Ham footballer Mark Noble and that’s why she just uses her first name
— David O'Doherty (@phlaimeaux) May 27, 2019
— helen (@helen) May 30, 2019
me: I'm terrified of state abbreviations
therapist: OH OK
me: [screaming intensifies]
— dr. alien skier (@clichedout) May 28, 2019
rice krispies when u add the milk: pic.twitter.com/V8Q5IcJSMk
— jude (@dejaserum) May 6, 2019
please. my wife. she fell off a cliff. pic.twitter.com/bAhfIG7q1d
— jonny sun (@jonnysun) May 26, 2019
When somebody you barely know is leaving at work and somebody asks you to sign their card pic.twitter.com/Z7gYDotB6M
— burgey (@burgey_96) March 22, 2019
Check out previous months here: