25 of the funniest tweets you might've missed in January
January, am I right?
On the whole, January isn't a huge amount of banter.
People give up alcohol, sweets, singing Christmas carols and basically everything that is good and fun.
Luckily, these same people turn to Twitter and channel their pent up frustrations into comedy gold.
Topics discussed this month included very specific muggings, Jim Henson's ability to think on his feet, the shortcomings of Fyre Festival, Mo Salah's astounding generosity and the prowess of Sooty & Sweep.
Here's 25 tweets you probably scrolled past because you were too busy thinking about your impending mortality.
— frøst ❄️ (@Nick_Frost) January 15, 2019
If mr and mrs Miliband had spent a few hours teaching him to fucking chew then none of this would be happening
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) January 15, 2019
— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) January 15, 2019
Magician got mugged outside my gaff pic.twitter.com/x9sCZrH8qo
— Jade Hayden (@JadeHayden) January 16, 2019
Stop sending me this shit pic.twitter.com/JfJ8uCHqVt
— Mike Tyson (@MikeTyson) January 16, 2019
We're half way there,
— Sean Leahy (@thepunningman) January 17, 2019
Do you think, in a pinch, Jim Henson ever used Kermit as an oven mitt?
— 𝕵𝖚𝖘𝖙𝖎𝖓 𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖘 (@Staggfilms) January 18, 2019
Received some very disappointing news today pic.twitter.com/NXcBSr0DYi
— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) January 18, 2019
The Netflix #FyreFestival documentary neglected to address whether the cheese sandwich served was any good.
— Todd Barry (@toddbarry) January 19, 2019
incredible news pic.twitter.com/CoKyEr8WST
— PubicZirconium 🌈💎🚩💎🌈 (@PubicZirconium) January 22, 2019
Keep your Glenns Close and your Glennemies Closer
— grookey main (@oskrNYC) January 23, 2019
[After leaving Willy Wonka’s factory]
WIFE: Lot of deaths for a to—
ME: A LOT of deaths for a tour!
— MehGyver (@AndrewNadeau0) January 23, 2019
Ryanair priority boarding is a microscopic version of Fyre Festival, that is my hot take.
— Ellen Coyne (@ellenmcoyne) January 24, 2019
Mohamed Salah. What a man pic.twitter.com/8EdM3iDFZT
— 🦅 (@UsmanA__) January 25, 2019
some earrings i ordered on aliexpress never arrived and they asked for photo evidence??? pic.twitter.com/4KzGBK2eVt
— iris (@irispompeii) January 27, 2019
dogs lick us because they know we have bones inside n they want em
— ish (@unofficialish) January 7, 2019
Y’ALL WHEN I SAY I’M SCREAMINGGG pic.twitter.com/ZPAWaQH4Ug
— zander (@alezander) January 26, 2019
Asked my cousin to edit my Spanish cooking video for my project. Got this back! pic.twitter.com/cse47nIgCv
— Morgs🌼 (@morgan_such) January 20, 2019
face ID doesnt recognize me unless im crying
— gary from teen mom (@garyfromteenmom) January 16, 2019
she wears high heels i wear sneakers.... pic.twitter.com/qFhpGq6qhG
— rat girl (but in dirt) (@BABYARlES) January 11, 2019
The Princess Diana memorial group is the gift that keeps on giving. pic.twitter.com/BgEKHaodng
— Grant Tucker (@GrantTucker) January 25, 2019
The episode where Sweep's extended family paid him a visit is simply glorious. pic.twitter.com/VLbe9daAXY
— Archivetvmusings (@archivetvmus71) January 29, 2019
Some of you were never the third friend that had to walk behind when the sidewalk is too narrow and it shows
— laura (@lauravryder) January 1, 2019
mate it was over 20 years ago. Bit late. pic.twitter.com/OaYRMci9Ie
— Thomas Gorton (@AngstromHoot) January 27, 2019