January, am I right?
On the whole, January isn’t a huge amount of banter.
People give up alcohol, sweets, singing Christmas carols and basically everything that is good and fun.
Luckily, these same people turn to Twitter and channel their pent up frustrations into comedy gold.
Topics discussed this month included very specific muggings, Jim Henson’s ability to think on his feet, the shortcomings of Fyre Festival, Mo Salah’s astounding generosity and the prowess of Sooty & Sweep.
Here’s 25 tweets you probably scrolled past because you were too busy thinking about your impending mortality.
1.
https://twitter.com/Nick_Frost/status/1085109408726700033
2.
If mr and mrs Miliband had spent a few hours teaching him to fucking chew then none of this would be happening
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) January 15, 2019
3.
.@netflix – let's talk pic.twitter.com/WyxmBU3QNc
— Fred Delicious 🍆 (@Fred_Delicious) January 15, 2019
4.
Magician got mugged outside my gaff pic.twitter.com/x9sCZrH8qo
— Jade Hayden (@JadeHayden) January 16, 2019
5.
Stop sending me this shit pic.twitter.com/JfJ8uCHqVt
— Mike Tyson (@MikeTyson) January 16, 2019
6.
Wooooaaah…
We're half way there,
Wooooaa-oaaah… pic.twitter.com/pxhekYkx9Z— Sean Leahy (@thepunningman) January 17, 2019
7.
Do you think, in a pinch, Jim Henson ever used Kermit as an oven mitt?
— Justin Staggs Ⓥ (@Staggfilms) January 18, 2019
8.
Received some very disappointing news today pic.twitter.com/NXcBSr0DYi
— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) January 18, 2019
9.
https://twitter.com/_coryrichardson/status/945106739007053824
10.
The Netflix #FyreFestival documentary neglected to address whether the cheese sandwich served was any good.
— Todd Barry (@toddbarry) January 19, 2019
11.
incredible news pic.twitter.com/CoKyEr8WST
— PubicZirconium (@PubicZirconium) January 22, 2019
12.
Keep your Glenns Close and your Glennemies Closer
— Luis (@oskrNYC) January 23, 2019
13.
[After leaving Willy Wonka’s factory]
ME:
WIFE:
ME:
WIFE:
ME:
WIFE: Lot of deaths for a to—
ME: A LOT of deaths for a tour!— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) January 23, 2019
14.
https://twitter.com/ellenmcoyne/status/1088559898378543105
15.
https://twitter.com/UsmanA__/status/1088760164474372102
16.
https://twitter.com/irispompeii/status/1089534929610915840
17.
https://twitter.com/ishcasa/status/1082421380669427712
18.
https://twitter.com/alezander/status/1088974522877804545
19.
https://twitter.com/morgan_such/status/1087119448312631296
20.
face ID doesnt recognize me unless im crying
— gary from teen mom (@garyfromteenmom) January 16, 2019
21.
https://twitter.com/BABYARlES/status/1083876075145289728
22.
The Princess Diana memorial group is the gift that keeps on giving. pic.twitter.com/BgEKHaodng
— Grant Tucker (@GrantTucker) January 25, 2019
23.
https://twitter.com/archivetvmus71/status/1090310637102747648
24.
https://twitter.com/lauravryder/status/1080174696392478721
25.
mate it was over 20 years ago. Bit late. pic.twitter.com/OaYRMci9Ie
— Thomas Gorton (@AngstromHoot) January 27, 2019
