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Published 12:15 21 Nov 2016 GMT
Updated 12:26 21 Nov 2016 GMT

But what's this? It seems that 2*16 may actually have a very late but hugely significant redeeming feature after all. Just when you thought this latest orbit around the sun was piloted by Beelzebub himself, a startling moment of heart-swelling iridescence breaks through the clouds and gives us a rainbow.
Alas, all it took was one brief handshake to restore our brittle faith in humanity and heal our collective wounds.
There have been important instances of manual intercourse in the past. Who can forget the digital three-way between Harry Truman, Winston Churchill and Joe Stalin following the surrender of Nazi Germany in 1945?
More recently, the Bill Clinton brokered fist-entanglement between Yitzhak Rabin and Yasser Arafat in 1993 was seen as a significant step towards a two-state solution in the Middle East. That didn't work out quite as well as hoped...
But all that pales in comparison to what happened on November 20, 2016, at the Microsoft Theater in Los Angeles. There was a coming together of sweaty palms so significant and earth-shattering that you probably felt the tremors where you lay.
Zayn Malik, that heaving colossus of the modern cultural landscape, was present at the American Music Awards on Sunday evening to pick up the well-deserved New Artist Of The Year gong. Zayn is of course an esteemed alum of One Direction.
Also present from the teeny-pop collective - currently on musical hiatus - was Niall Horan, or 'The Irish one'. Despite the vast expanse of the impressive arena, these two friends-turned-foes were destined to come together like planets...or magnets (...or whatever metaphor makes the most sense).
Perhaps due to a longing desire to 'make good', and resolve their various creative and personal differences, or maybe due of the awkwardness of the situation, the pair engaged in a handshake of monumental and possibly lasting significance.
Imagine if Morrissey and Johnny Marr appeared on stage together, or John Lennon and Paul McCartney did the same (although it would have to be a hologram of Lennon, who is currently jamming in heaven with Prince and David Bowie according to Facebook...)
Anyway, here is the magical moment when Malik and Horan made contact. Brace yourselves.
As you can imagine, the reaction amongst onlookers and fans was something to behold... https://twitter.com/lilrascalwt/status/800602584021078016 https://twitter.com/AhmadSies/status/800660846242205696 https://twitter.com/1DTheNation/status/800527513218850816 https://twitter.com/daggertattooH/status/800627018928824320 https://twitter.com/Just1DStars/status/800527873266290688 https://twitter.com/Real_Amy_Adams/status/800606635009908736The video of the quick handshake between Niall and Zayn ?https://t.co/adZoYsBzFv pic.twitter.com/ADG3mWB2ed
— 1Distractions ❤ (@llhn1d) November 21, 2016
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