A Camilla Parker Biscuit, if you will.
Last night Harry Hill annihilated his competition on The Great Celebrity Bake Off.
His bakes were flawless, his collars were stiffer than his competition and his biscuit design skills were second to none.
For the showstopper challenge, Harry picked a scene entitled ‘The Day I Went On Holiday With Camilla Parker Bowles’. Instantly, the nation was intrigued.
It was an ambitious undertaking for Harry to try to recreate the Duchess of Cornwall in biscuit form, add to that a wonderfully scenic setting of their seaside holiday. If he nailed it, he would be widely regarded as a hero, but if he made a hideous Camilla biscuit and drew great shame upon the Royal Family, could that technically be considered as treason?
With the threat of his position as a national treasure weighing heavily upon him, Harry undertook a career defining task – making a flattering Camilla Parker Bowles biscuit.
At the early stages when Harry took his tray of biscuits out of the oven, it was unclear as to whether he had paid sufficient homage to the Royal.
Things finally started to take shape once the icing process took place.
Spade a spade, he fucked it. He absolutely fucked it.
Twitter went to town on the biscuit disaster, but none more so than myself, who had the distinct honour of live tweeting the show last night.
The Camilla Parker Bowles biscuit is a triumph, congratulations Harry #GBBO pic.twitter.com/dpKSkK20DA
— JOE (@JOE_co_uk) March 6, 2018
Eternally grateful to Harry Hill for providing us with this bountiful gift #GBBO pic.twitter.com/RCjNVI1U9R
— JOE (@JOE_co_uk) March 6, 2018
Ok I promise this is the last one #GBBO pic.twitter.com/DGEC3PnDrP
— JOE (@JOE_co_uk) March 6, 2018
If Harry was ever hoping to be bestowed a knighthood, he can confidently cross that off his list this morning.
He has brought great shame upon the Royal Family, for which he will be suitably punished.
An unnamed Palace insider has confirmed to JOE that they are currently discussing a public flogging, demanding a lengthy apology or, worst case scenario, a good stern guillotining.
Harry Hill is said to be in hiding at present and considering adopting a new identity. A very wise decision.
Images via Channel 4
