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19th Aug 2015

The best 10 jokes from the Edinburgh fringe have been compiled by the Guardian

Simon Lloyd

With the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in full swing, a list of its top 10 funniest jokes have been compiled by The Guardian. In no particular order, here they are:

Rhys James: “Umbro is named after what your friends say to you if they see you wearing it.”

Darren Walsh: “My cat is recovering from a massive stroke.”

Katherine Ryan: “Joan Rivers got exactly what she wanted from that final surgery – to stop ageing. Finally she nailed it.”

Aisling Bea: “I just don’t have lesbian genes – which are dungarees.”

Chris Martin: “If you want to to feel less intimidated by a bouncer, do what I do and imagine their ear piece is just a motivational tape going: “You’re a soft, strong individual.””

Mark Nelson: “Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. Now, that’s not a miracle is it? That’s tapas.”

Grace the Child: “I’m a Buddhist. One of my main goals as a Buddhist is to have the world’s largest collection of Buddhas.”

Hal Cruttenden: “Victorians would have been great on social media. They’d have had their own emojis. Open brackets-close brackets means: “I’ve got rickets.””

Bridget Christie: “I learned about method acting at drama school, when all my classmates stayed in character as posh, patronising tw*ts for the entire three years I was there.”

Pippa Evans: “I was vegan for a while. I lost 6lb, but most of that was personality.”