No, I don’t know why this is happening either.
Hello. If you were wondering where we were at as a society, where we are at currently is very much ‘Shaun Ryder having 2.5 litres of coffee poured directly up his arse on national television’. That is where. The next stage, one can only imagine, is Reni from The Stone Roses being the first man fired across the British channel via catapult, or H from Steps taking over Brexit negotiations for an all too real reality show. Would he do a better job than Theresa May? I think he would. I honestly think he would.
Anyway, this one actually happened. People actually had to watch the former Happy Mondays frontman have an enema on evening tele, whilst they were sat all cosy by the fire with a cup of tea and a few biscuits. Did anyone want this to happen, least of all Shaun Ryder? No. No I don’t think so. Nobody wanted this. But again, here we are. This is where we are at. Donald Trump is the President. Anything is possible.
The experiment occurred on the show 100 Years Younger in 21 Days an attempt to reverse the ageing process on some minor celebrities – including Ryder, someone from Emmerdale, an astronomer (?) and presenter Roy Walker, who describing the intrusion as “feeling like a garden hose”.
Did I have to include that quote? No. Not at all. But again, here we are.
The process is meant to work by stimulating the liver and producing glutathione, which is a naturally occurring anti-oxidant said to reduce wrinkles. Whether the benefit of appearing slightly less wrinkly is outweighed by the definite negative of having two-and-a-half litres of coffee flood your colon, directly via the backdoor, remains to be seen.
During the procedure the musician unsurprisingly let out a flurry of “naughty words” as he faced the dreaded tube, after which he had to hold the coffee for five gruelling minutes before he was allowed to relieve himself.
Upon going to the toilet he was heard saying the immortal words: “Here we go. Oooh, Jesus! Oh my God. It’s like milking a cow.”
Presumably, he just wanted everyone to stop twisting his colon, man.
https://twitter.com/suzanne_moore/status/968602964163203072
Modern television has just made me use the sentence “No, I don’t want to see Shaun Ryder receiving an enema.”
— Dave Turner (@mrdaveturner) February 27, 2018
I had not anticipated spending my evening watching Shaun Ryder have coffee poured up his bum. Not on terrestrial TV, anyway.
— Ruddock (@sugarraybuzzard) February 27, 2018
#100YearsYoungerin21Days well when I woke up today I never thought I'd be watching Shaun Ryder having an emema
— Lynne Latte ☕📚 (@LynneMcHugh) February 27, 2018
I’m watching Shaun Ryder getting a coffee colonic irrigation . Mrs Browns boys doesn’t seem so bad now #100YearsYoungerin21Days
— Harry McNally (@HarryMcNally00) February 27, 2018
https://twitter.com/livhornblower/status/968603355374325760
