Day 19.
Folks, we are well and truly in the mix of it now. More than is suitably comfortable.
Celebrity Big Brother is completely out of control and there’s no way to tame these vagabond celebrities anymore. They are a law unto themselves at this point and there’s no going back.
Last night was an eventful instalment of the series, with such excitement as Andrew eating a bowl of cereal at 11pm keeping viewers glued to the show.
Here’s four important moments we were lucky enough to witness.
1. Shane J plucked Alma off Coronation Street‘s chin hair
In an act that’s top of most people’s bucket lists, Shane J got to pluck some hairs from Alma off Coronation Street’s face. He started with a couple of moustache hairs, but we later learned from Alma that the procedure didn’t stop there. He also took to her chin, which was sporting a few stragglers as well. Shane J has now achieved an act that the rest of us can only ever dream of doing. Some people go their whole lives wanting to pluck Alma’s moustache or chin, but it sadly never happens. He’s got his bucket list completed at 36 years of age. Mad respect.
2. Almost three weeks in and Ann still doesn’t know the difference between Andrew and Jonny
After 19 days, it is simply unforgivable for anyone to think that Jonny and Andrew are the same person. Ann Widdecombe should be ashamed of herself. Sure, Jonny and Andrew are both tall with brown hair, they’ve both found fame by appearing on reality television shows in 2017 and both have no discernible talents other than saying yes to everything, but there’s a world of difference between the two. For example, Jonny sometimes wears a hat, actually no so does Andrew. Ok, no, that’s fair enough. Ann is excused.
3. Holding a feather makes celebrities’ farts come out??
In a gripping twist, housemates were tasked with holding a feather, with the person able to hold it the longest winning points for their team. Ashley and Jess annihilated the task and won it for the girls, but victory came at a cost. Midway through the gruelling act, Jess announced that she had farted and apologised to those around her. Moments later, Shane J revealed that he had also farted, causing speculation that holding a feather somehow instigates farting. Is there a connection? Was it just a coincidence? Please can someone with scientific research get in touch and let me know personally.
4. Dapper Laughs made the earth-shattering comparison that he’s just like Marmite
In an astoundingly creative comparison, Dapper Laughs told Big Brother that he was like Marmite. Essentially, Daniel is telling us that he is a sticky brown paste with a distinctive flavour and smell, so that’s cool. If I could be granted one wish for the rest of my life, it would be that people, particularly reality TV show contestants, would stop describing themselves as Marmite. Be more creative, think of a better comparison. Tell people you’re like heartburn or Channing Tatum’s hairstyle in the 90s. Do better 2k18!
Images via Channel 5
