Day 9
Last night’s I’m A Celeb finally gave the public what they wanted – getting to witness Harry Redknapp ecstatically consuming some jam roly-poly.
John, Rita and James went on an extreme journey to secure eleven meals for the camp, unfortunately returning with one short of their intended goal.
Still, it wasn’t all bad news. We got to see everyone except Nick gorging themselves on an absolute feast, washing it down with a generous helping of Harry’s favourite treat.
Here’s six hilarious moments you might’ve missed.
1. Anne! Hegerty! Farted! On! Nick! Knowles!
Nick and Anne had just woken up in their cute little love shack beside what appears to be a variety of moisturisers and some luggage, when Anne rolled over and let out a teeny tiny little bottom expulsion. Her back was to Nick at the time, which meant he experienced the full wrath of her gas. But that’s not even the funniest part. After she farted, Anne said “Oh excuse me, sorry” and Nick Knowles, perhaps the kindest man on earth, shrugged it off with “That’s entirely understandable, Anne”. Then we cut to Anne in the diary room saying “I farted in Nick’s face this morning and he didn’t seem to mind… so obviously we’re good mates”, then followed it up with “It was just a little, little fart, just very tiny. It wasn’t like Rita’s, that the entire planet heard except me”. In recalling her own embarrassment, Anne bodies Rita, putting her on blast (quite literally) to the entirety of Britain. This is it. We are living in the golden age of television.
2. John Barrowman simply couldn’t get enough of the camera last night
From start to finish during last night’s I’m A Celeb, John Barrowman could not get enough of the camera. He was in whatever the celebrity lust for camera time equivalent of being in heat is and just couldn’t help himself. The singing, the physical comedy, the goofiness, John Barrowman was put on this earth to make people feel happy and last night, he definitely helped. He puts forward a strong case for forcing him to take part in every trial and challenge going forward because sometimes, as a viewer, it’s nice to feel acknowledged and see a celebrity behaving in front of a camera the same way you did as a child when Dad took out the camcorder on Christmas morning.
3. John, James and Rita looked like a young and excitable family embarking on the backpacking holiday of a lifetime
Dad, Mum and little James have just landed in Australia after a long flight over from the UK. They’ve never been on a backpacking holiday before, but are eager to see what’s in store. Dad loves the simple things in life, such as Doctor Who, randomly singing show tunes and the company of men. Mum’s a live wire, always up for anything including drowning in a swimming pool alongside her sister. Little James wants to be in a band when he grows up. One that’s kind of like One Direction, but also in no way like One Direction. Catch them on the flight home in three weeks, sunburnt and none of them speaking to each other.
4. Harry! Finally! Got! His! Jam! Roly! Poly!
Finally, finally, finally. Harry Redknapp got to gorge himself on a generous helping of jam roly-poly slathered in custard. The man was elated, giddy as a schoolgirl when he discovered that his favourite treat had been included in the banquet. Not only did he reach true ecstasy upon eating it, but the rest of his campmates also seemed to enjoy the experience, consuming their I’m A Celeb friend’s number one dessert item. Perhaps they will all meet up when they return to the UK, to discuss the progression of their careers and indulge in another hearty round of jam roly-poly (with custard) together.
5. While the others enjoyed a literal feast, Nick stayed in the campsite alone, doing sit-ups and cooking bean burgers
That smile, the smile that you give when someone you fancy starts talking about someone they fancy who isn’t you. The smile you give when another checkout opens in Aldi but you’ve already unpacked your things onto the conveyor belt so you can’t budge. The smile you give your boss when they ask if you can stay late after work for no extra pay. The smile you give when a friend asks if you’ll repay the favour of giving them a lift to the airport at 6am. The smile you give when your fellow I’m A Celeb campmates return from a banquet which you opted to miss because you’re camp leader and it seemed like the honourable thing to do, but you’ve just spent the evening in total silence, doing sit-ups and making bean burgers.
6. Malique pushed himself to the brink of vomiting at the banquet, as is only right
Only one person at the I’m A Celeb banquet carried themselves with the correct manner required at such an event. These people haven’t eaten a proper meal in nine days, the only acceptable course of action when placed in front of a banquet was to eat themselves to the point of vomiting, then return for another round of food. Instead, they all remained quite dignified, gingerly consuming some of the food on display. It was only young Malique Thompson-Dwyer who went sufficiently hard at the banquet and for that, we thank him. Although he didn’t fully puke, he almost did, and that has to be admired. Rest in power, Mal.
Images via ITV
