Day 4
We’re not even five working days into this year’s I’m A Celeb and things are already shaping up to deliver a whopper series.
Harry Redknapp has been consistently telling anecdotes for four days straight, John Barrowman can’t stop saying ‘Fabulous’ at regular intervals and the nation has finally stopped calling Holly Willoughby “Ant’s replacement”.
Last night’s instalment from the jungle was gripping from start to finish. John did the Bushtucker trial, Nick and Emily collected did the Dingo Dollar challenge and Harry just sat around a lot, talking about famous encounters and his dissatisfaction with the food. To be fair, it was alpaca neck and he probably didn’t fancy eating something that could also be a nickname for him in years to come.
Here’s 7 hilarious moments you might’ve missed.
1. John Barrowman somehow managed to do a wink at Anne and it wasn’t creepy
Anne and John were chatting in the camp when their conversation drifted to Doctor Who. Anne revealed that David Tennant was her favourite Doctor, at which point they engaged in an excited high five, like two nerds that have just discovered that you can hack into your PS2 and install Xbox games, or something. It was a blessed moment, but then John threatened to spoil it all by using the predator’s trademark move – a wink. He told Anne that if she needed anything, to give him a shout as “The captain will come and help you”, at which point she crumbled into a blushing mess. This encounter proves that John Barrowman is more powerful than we ever thought. A man that can wink and somehow make it reassuring rather than creepy? It’s sorcery.
2. Halfway across the bridge to his Bushtucker trial, John performed an eloquent slutdrop
On his way to take part in the dreaded Bushtucker trial, John stopped halfway across the famous I’m A Celeb bridge to perform a very touching and heartfelt slutdrop. There was no real need, it just added a little spice to proceedings, something that viewers undoubtedly welcomed with great enthusiasm. We’ve seen many celebrities cross that bridge during I’m A Celeb, some nervous, some giddy and now some slutdropping like it’s their goddamn job. John didn’t do that slutdrop for himself, he didn’t need it, his nerves were visibly at bay. He did that for us, and we are forever indebted to him for lightening the mood in such an aggressive yet graceful way.
3. John grossly exaggerated about the size of the crocodile that was in the boat during the trial
Look, we all exaggerate. I do it probably 5,000 times a day. But when John got back to camp, he couldn’t wait to tell the gang about what he’d just been through. He recalled the task in excruciating detail, but also managed to grossly exaggerate the size of the crocodile that was in the boat. Sure, his adrenaline was pumping and he may not have been thinking straight, but under no frame of mind could you categorise that crocodile as “huge”. It was a baby croc, small enough for the professional handler to cradle it in his arms. John Barrowman is an exaggerator and must fry for what he has done.
4. Anne revealed that she has a Wikipedia husband called Jake Hester
The celebrities were discussing the various nonsensical things they’ve seen written about themselves online, when Anne revealed that according to her Wikipedia page, she’s married to a guy called Jake Hester. Having personally conducted a thorough internet search, I’m finding that it’s proving very difficult to locate Jake Hester. If anyone reading this knows Jake, can you please inform him that the marriage is off. Anne doesn’t want to be wedded unto you because she does not know who you are. Also, tell him that Dec has his director’s chair on the I’m A Celeb set and is hanging onto it for safe keeping. Many thanks.
5. Harry Redknapp was very lucky to grow into his teeth after he left school
Look at the size of those hoofers! Good grief, Harry Redknapp is a very lucky man both in terms of his successful career and his ability to grow into his teeth rather than allowing them to grow into him. The Dingo Dollar Challenge resulted in us getting to see what our beloved celebrities looked like during their schooldays, and it gave us a glimpse into the life of a young Harry Redknapp. Undoubtedly, he was a busy boy at the time, opening various canned goods for his family and neighbours with his teeth when the opener went missing and playing the role of the horse in every nativity play. For his home address, he had two different postcodes, one for each tooth. He didn’t pay for things with pounds, he preferred to use the buck. That’s it, thank you.
6. Harry felt comfortable enough to share some personal information with the rest of camp
The gang were discussing their disappointment at missing out on some jam roly-poly (with custard) from the Dingo Dollar Challenge, when Harry Redknapp revealed on national television that he likes a bit of spotted dick. Look, it’s 2018 and people like all manner of things. It’s no cause for concern. If anything, it’s comforting. We have created a world where 71-year-old football managers can express their personal kinks in the middle of the Australian jungle for all to hear. I applaud Harry Redknapp for his candour. The world would be a better place if we all followed suit. With that in mind, get out there and tell a spotted dick that you love them today.
7. Noel Edmonds really leaned into the narrative of the game in the teaser for tomorrow night’s episode
Relax Noel mate, it’s only a TV show. Your dedication to the narrative isn’t hugely essential. Just turn up, eat some bugs and then go home with (a rumoured) £600k in your grubby jungle-stained pockets. But instead, Noel went hard. He did that, for all of us. He dressed up like some kind of Roman emperor, looking smug and in need of a phone call from a mysterious banker to instruct him on his next move. That’s the beauty of Noel Edmonds. He’s incapable of giving anything less than 110% at all times. That’s just what he’s about. The jungle ain’t ready. Britain ain’t ready. Mr Blobby watching at home ain’t ready. Tonight’s episode is going something incredibly special. Get that man into the I’m A Celeb jungle yesterday!
Images via ITV
