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Published 14:16 12 Nov 2018 GMT
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Having just been shortlisted as one of the Collins Dictionary's words of the year, now is the perfect time for gammon to strike while the iron is piping hot. People often overlook gammon, both as a concept and a dinner choice. "Just thick ham, innit?", they foolishly say. But gammon is more than that. Gammon has feelings, just like you and I. Its greatest challenge in the jungle will come when the appetites of the contestants are insatiable. They'll be tempted to consume Gammon, which is going to expose the true animals of the campsite. As is custom with I'm A Celeb, a human contestant with gammon properties will also be included in the lineup, but consumption of both him and the actual gammon will be prohibited, in line with the show regulations.
Criminal Ross Geller
https://twitter.com/HeartNWNews/status/1054969189084094464
Obviously Blackpool police are still looking for this guy, so he probably needs to have a quick chat with them first, but once everything has been cleared up, let's get that man into the jungle. First, we'll get to see that he isn't actually Ross Geller, but merely a lookalike. He can recount tales of his newfound fame having been catapulted to stardom with his recent virality, whether David Schwimmer got in touch with him to meet up and just generally share stories of his five minutes of notoriety with the nation. Fellow contestants will have to keep an eye on their personal belongings as similar to a pervy uncle, Criminal Ross Geller has been known to pinch a few bits that aren't his.
Terry from GBBO's harrowing self-portrait bake
There's one on every street corner, so it makes perfect sense to send one into the Australian outback. The main complaint out of the celebrities on the show is that they're starving, so with the addition of a Pret, there'll be no shortage of food. Plus, the contestants could shelter from the rain inside the Pret, warming up with a wide selection of hot drinks and daytime-dependent food. Even the wildlife would be queueing at the door for a quick hit of porridge and raspberry compote in the mornings. Vote 4 Pret - the peoples' champion.
Uncle Bryn
WHAT HAPPENED ON THAT GODDAMN FISHING TRIP? There's only one way we can find out, we need to get Bryn on a glorified camping trip, pile him with mint Baileys and hope that at some point the truth will escape. Bryn would be impeccable as an I'm A Celeb contestant. He'd lament his Citroen Picasso being all the way back in Barry, but keep fellow contestants entertained with renditions of 'Goodbye My Lover' and 'Islands In The Stream' among other party pieces. Bryn would win by a landslide, plus another series of Gavin & Stacey would surely follow. Forget the other celebrities. A few weeks of Bryn West in a jungle on his own would be the most spectacular viewer experience the world has ever seen. Make it happen, ITV.

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