Day 20.
Truly, Jonny Mitchell might be the dumbest man alive. First he breaks Queen Camilla Thurlow’s heart on Love Island, now he believes that an ‘Aerosmith engineer’ is a real job.
We’ve hit rock bottom on this series of CBB. There’s no going back. John Barnes is gone and he took any hope of this household rejoining the human race with him. We are in crisis mode. Things have descended into utter turmoil.
Here’s four important things we learned from last night’s Celebrity Big Brother.
1. Jonny called Andrew ‘an Aerosmith engineer’
For clarity, Andrew is an aerospace engineer. He does not have any input in the structure of the American rock band. Jonny couldn’t believe that Andrew was unable to make a cube out of blocks quicker than the girls, especially since he’s an ‘Aerosmith engineer’. We’ve learned two things from this encounter. 1) Andrew Brady is probably quite a smart guy and 2) Jonny is the dumbest man alive. ‘Aerosmith engineer’ flew out of his mouth and he nor anyone else around him made any attempt to correct his blunder. Does Jonny truly believe that Andrew works with Steven Tyler, Joe Perry and co? Dream On, pal.
2. John and Ann voluntarily got up at 5.26am like some kind of sociopaths
Sorry is this some kind of sick prank? Who in their right mind gets up before 10am without having to do so for work commitments? Ann and John are borderline sociopathic and desperately need to be assessed by Big Brother’s medical team immediately. They got up, scurried into the kitchen and made some hot drinks, then sat on the couches making chitchat until the rest of the housemates got up a cool five hours later. This is the carry on of a deranged person. I am sick to my stomach. Something very untoward is going on in that house. John subsequently left the house later in the episode. Coincidence?
3. Andrew doesn’t like to cuddle in bed
This is a breaking news story. Last night during Celebrity Big Brother 2018, Andrew Brady informed Shane J that he doesn’t actually like cuddling in bed. Shane was inquiring as to why the pair don’t have a quick cuddle in bed at night, when Andrew made the earth-shattering revelation that he likes to sleep when he’s in bed. Andrew isn’t alone, 1 in 2 Brits also like to sleep when they’re in bed, so he’s part of a very large statistic. As this startling revelation starts to trickle its way around the world and into the mainstream media, please remember that you heard it here first.
4. Shane J described his bum as ‘a self-cleaning oven’
Andrew and Shane J were engaging in typical LAD chats when Andrew revealed that he had being having some unusual bowel movements of late. For no logical reason other than banter, Shane informed him that his particular bottom is like ‘a self-cleaning oven’. If true, this is actually quite a dangerous medical condition. If Shane’s butt requires 500 degrees celsius heat to burn off any residue left from baking, he could be in serious trouble. I recommend Shane contacting his doctor immediately and finding a better solution. He shall suffer no more.
Images via Channel 5
