Insisting that it would show just mad the game had gone, yer da has today decided to buy every single item in stock at the local B&Q to illustrate just how much of a waste of money Neymar is.
The Brazilian striker this week sealed a world record £198 million move to Paris Saint-Germain, a deal which angered yer da to the point of near-violence.
The sums involved provoked widespread condemnation from football fans the world over, most notably your miserable bastard of a father, a man who has previously raged at Paul Pogba’s numerous haircuts and the proliferation of “street culture” in the beautiful game.
However, rather than stew at home in his favourite chair and take his fury out on a particular person, sources reveal that yer da chose to prove his point by parting with all of his money in exchange for the store’s entire inventory.
“That money could have funded the fight against the Argies for six months”
Barcelona weren't ready for PSG's plan B… #Neymar pic.twitter.com/IfFIrWBDru
— JOE (@JOE_co_uk) August 2, 2017
“It’s a ridiculous amount of money. Nobody is worth that, especially not a show pony like Neymar. Back in my day that amount of money could have funded the fight against the Argies for six months!” shouted yer heaving and sweating da as he gazed happily across a sea of sanders, door knobs and plastic plants.
“I mean, look what I’ve got right here. For the price of what that Brazilian YouTube merchant has cost for a few years I have supplied future generations of my family with a near unlimited supply of power tools, wallpaper, garden furniture and nails. PSG can’t say that now, can they?!?!
“Besides, Neymar will be long dead before the last of these proper, manly, hard drills gives out, that’s proof right there.”
At press time, yer da was packing his belongings into a suit case while cursing under his breath after your mother kicked him out for plunging the family into debt.
