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03rd Jul 2017

Wimbledon is far more entertaining if you replace the rackets with random objects

We've done it. We've improved tennis

Ciara Knight


Wimbledon is a terrific event that shows the world’s greatest athletes battling it out to be crowned The Best One At This Particular Sport. But spade a spade, it can get a tad monotonous watching these sports folk essentially hitting a ball back and forth over the net for hours at a time. It’s only natural that the mind tends to wander.

Personally, my mind wanders into the strangest of places, where the players’ rackets are replaced by random objects, but they still participate in the match with stern game faces on.

Taro Daniel will dust his way to the top this year, God willing

Jelena Jankovic, it’s plane to see, is definitely a tennis player

Stan Wawrinka will be fried back home if he doesn’t return with the winner’s cup

Anna-Lena Friedsam’s tennis racket is unconventional, and as a result there’s been quite a buzz about it

Serena Williams won’t be taking part this year, but last year she tin whistled her way to victory

Zarina Diyas prefers to train with a religious statue as it weighs exactly the same as a racket, but carries less wind resistance

If Roger Federer can’t win this year, no one can

Alize Cornet was skeptical about fidget spinners at first, but now she’s a firm believer in their worth

Rafael Nadal is prone to sweating, just like the rest of us

Jo-Wilfried Tsonga baguetter not forget to turn up this year

Andrey Kuznetsov got a balloon because he was a very good boy during training yesterday

Kei Nishikori uses a packet of silica gel for a racket and while that’s a very weird thing to do, we mustn’t laugh

Ashleigh Barty uses increasingly smaller versions of herself as a racket, with unexpectedly great results

Roberto Bautista is just a big bloody joker

Andy Murray loves walking his dogs and playing tennis, often at the same time